Reviews

A Poem Is a Naked Person

I had to look up what this film was about. I’ll repeat: After watching this entire film, I actually had to go look up afterwards what it was about. I can think of no worse way to castigate a documentary, can you?

I suppose I can tell you what I saw: the 70s. Oh, boy, the 70s. Unruly hair, questionable hygiene and fashion that would suggest nobody in the film understood why people dressed for anything. That includes a wedding, btw. Oh yes, there was a wedding. There was also an unrelated  segment about a building being destroyed in some rust-belt town. And a snake devouring a live chick. I’ll get back to that.

This was a musical. I think that part shone through. There was a lot of country performer Leon Russell in concert, out-of-concert, in shirts, out-of-shirts, eating, not eating. He did not, however, devour a live chick. When not focusing on random shots of water or splicing random B-roll for no reason, A Poem Is a Naked Person focused on a cornucopia of PoemNaked3B-sides and weak covers. No, I’m not a Country/Western guy, but I can tell you exactly what The Blues Brothers covered at Bob’s Country Bunker. I saw the inexplicably titled Poem yesterday and I can’t remember a single song, only that I sure didn’t enjoy the ones I recognized.

And then there was the camerawork. How shall I put this? This film was most likely shot by a colorblind lower primate with a poor attention span, perhaps a member of the siaming family. The very likely mammal in question made quite sure the camera was rarely pointed at the subject … or anything of interest for that matter; the otherly-concerned cinematographer was almost certainly under the influence of a controlled substance like weed, alcohol or pixie dust … the film was edited by his less-talented brother.

I’m sorry, just what was I supposed to get out of the snake-devouring-chick metaphor with the voice narration of snake wisdom (“he only moves PoemNaked2when he needs to eat”) mingled generously with shots of concert security personnel discussing crowd control? Les Blank, your metaphors are as empty as your name.

Here’s what I discovered upon research – this documentary was shot from 1972-1974 while a film crew followed Leon Russell around. Russell being one of the producers objected to the film and refused release until this past year. My guess is he saw it. From the cheesy hand-painted title sequence to the white trash wedding, there isn’t a single flattering moment in the film. Not one.  Is there any silver lining here? I suppose I’ve never seen middle-aged pre-braided Willie Nelson before. Is that enough to merit a watch? Pardner, it’s not even enough to merit a Google.

♪Sometimes it’s hard to shoot a movie
Gotta point that thing and press, like so
You’ll have to focus
No, it’s no joke-us
Even if you’ve contracted vertigo

Now you may think I should go easy
Most document’ries do mean well
When you don’t please me
Or make it cheesy
I say, “feller, go straight to HELL!”

Stand by your pan
M. Night or Tyler Perry
Their work is seldom very
Palatable for my consumption

Stand by your pan
Boll, Bay or Dennis Dugan
Harsh words are all that you can
Sa-a-a-a-a-a-ay (baby!)

Stand by your pan♫

Not Rated, 90 Minutes
D: Les Blank
W: Les Blank
Genre: A flashback to a time you never needed to know existed
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: You have to really, really enjoy Leon Russell
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: 70s haters

♪ Parody inspired by “Stand by Your Man”

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