We’re going to start by pretending Sherlock Holmes was a real guy. I know we’ve been here before, but not quite this way because in this version, you see, Sherlock Holmes fiction exists as biographies written and embellished by companion John Watson. See, the books exist in this world, as do the movies. And I don’t know his generally accepted timeline, but this Sherlock Holmes (Ian McKellen) lived past WWII, which is quite a feat as I think most of us picture him as middle aged well before the turn of the century.
I suppose it’s only right for Sir Ian to wend his way through the aging heroes of classic English literature. Who’s next: Merlin? Dumbledore? Miss Havisham? Anyway, today, he is the aging detective Sherlock Holmes. This Sherlock is thirty-five years removed from his last case; he suffers from early Alzheimer’s and personal demons. On the former, his physician asks him to mark a dot in a day planner every time his memory comes up shy. When we finally get a look, the book’s interior has broken into an alarming case of smallpox. And so while there are three mysteries in this film, the most significant hides in Holmes’ misplaced recollection.
Mr. Holmes is basically about the retired and relatively immobile icon coming back to his country home to die. He is perpetually at odds with his housekeeper (Laura Linney), but has taken a shine to her boy, Roger (Milo Parker). Ten-year-old Roger is fascinated with the Sherlock legend. This fantasy will play exceptionally well to the fogies this film is supposed to appeal to – “well what child wouldn’t want to visit an apiary with a terribly old man? Doesn’t that sound like fun?” “Play ball? Climb trees? Don’t you want to read my memoirs?!”
And yet, the friendship between Roger and Sherlock is the strongest part of Mr. Holmes. There’s a wonderful symbiotic impishness between the two – their bond is enhanced by a shared fear Mrs. Munro (Linney). But it is kindled by the 
mystery – and, as mentioned, there are three to solve in this film: 1) Why isn’t Sherlock a detective any longer? 2) Why was Sherlock just now in Japan? And 3) what’s happening to the bees? My guess is that Jeffrey Hatcher and Bill Condon figured if they couldn’t give us one good mystery, they’d give us three mediocre ones and hope we wouldn’t notice. They were right. While I was able to guess 1 ½ of the 3 mysteries, what I missed was enough to make me believe I was watching a good film.
Sure, there’s a decidedly English feel to this cinematic experience. Does everything have to look like “Downton Abbey” these days? And this could be the first film I’ve seen since Benjamin Button which went out of its way to have a distinctly younger old man to show Sherlock at, say, the ripe AARP age of 75 or so. Much as I enjoy Ian McKellen (who doesn’t?), at every turn, I expected the exclamation, “The game is afoot! Zzzzzzzz.”
I suspect foul screenplay.
♪You’re an old man, Mr. Holmes
You’re demise is soon at hand
You can’t remember your breakfast
Your hobby is a nap, Mr. Holmes
Your lack of memory is an alarming and depressing reminder of humanity’s impending mortality! And you’re not funny!
Mr. Holmes♫
Rated PG, 104 Minutes
D: Bill Condon
W: Jeffrey Hatcher
Genre: Sherlock Holmes does Nero Wolfe
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Holmes homies
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: The old-and-English impaired
♪ Parody inspired by “Mr. Grinch”
