Reviews

Draft Day

Ok, I’m going to say this exactly once, because there’s no need to repeat it: immediately following any professional sports draft, there is no way of knowing if you had a good draft. You can, however, know if you had a bad draft. How can you know? If you could have had the same exact thing, only more. Never take consensus thought for granted, even if it’s wrong.

Banking on our new found love of business within sports and not the actual sports themselves, Draft Day focuses on the fictional General Manager of the quasi-fictional Cleveland Browns, Sonny Weaver (Kevin Costner). Moneyball opened the door for films about sports figures who don’t play or coach, which is cool for those of us who dreamed of these jobs as we grew up, but occasionally frustrating for folks who wish to see another The Natural. Not a single live down is played in Draft Day. Not one. The movie is all about Sonny and his foibles. Hey, that was my favorite 60s band – Sonny and the Foibles.

Speaking of Sonny’s foibles, they gave us two right off the top. Sonny is living with Ali (Jennifer Garner) and she has inserted her pregnancy news into Sonny’s pre-draft frame of mind. Also, Sonny is a week removed from the death of his father, a former Browns coach who Sonny pity-fired the year previous. Neither of these story lines works – they’re just here to complicate a situation and maybe give your dates something to think about while the men are distracted by sports and money. During the big day, Ali keeps meeting Sonny in a film closet (she works in the Browns’ front office as well) for personal life discussion. Would this gambit have worked better if they were at a different point in the relationship? Like, say, they ducked in to neck or screw? Unlikely as this story line is just there to keep non-football fans awake.

The entirety of Draft Day takes place over the course of –wait for it— draft day. Do I have to explain the football draft? Let’s not. The Browns own the #7 pick, but before going to the office, Sonny is cornered by the owner (Frank Langella) who barely veils a threat of “get me the #1 pick or you’re fired.” Twenty minutes later, Sonny makes an extremely ill-advised move, swapping the #7 and two future first rounds for the #1 overall, owned by Seattle (rare is the sports movie which will actually benefit from time DraftDay2elapsing, but as Seattle was the current Superbowl champion when this film was released, it takes some imagination to come up with them owning the pick belonging to the worst team from the previous season). There are many common-sense rules to deal-making in sports and among them are: don’t trade under duress; don’t let one speech rule your motives; don’t trade when your mind is elsewhere; don’t lose control; don’t accept a worse deal than one offered previously; don’t mortgage your long-term future without guaranteed short-term success. And, oh yeah, don’t give up three (3!) #1 picks to move up six spots in the draft! As the job of Browns’ GM is perpetually on the line, Sonny can be forgiven the long-term concern, but wow, you violated everything else on the list. There’s a bigger one he actually violates, too, but you’ll have to discover that one for yourself.

Draft Day is one of those films which has great verisimilitude — all the trappings look genuine: you got the stadiums, you got the ESPN crew, you got highlight reels, you got the draft venue, but people who know the biz a little will blitz through that line of defense. A lot of this movie hinges on the character of the prospective college draftees in question. The NFL is a billion dollar business run by billionaires who care about little else in life; there are only 32 first round draft picks. Every team knows every.single.thing there is to know about each one of them before draft day, including, and especially, character. The skill-set margin is too tiny not to account for everything that can be accounted for. Now, that said? Film was better than it wasn’t. Just don’t imagine this is a documentary or anything. The Browns still suck.

The General Manager of the Browns
Is used to the populace frowns
To see studied eyes
Took me by surprised
I thought he resolved to pick clowns

Rated PG-13, 109 Minutes
D: Ivan Reitman
W: Scott Rothman, Rajiv Joseph
Genre: Moneyfootball
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: People who mistake actors for athletes
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Real life GMs

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