Gee, we haven’t had a decent courtroom film in a while. *poof* here’s The Judge. I wish that were really how it worked – just up and opine, “there hasn’t been a decent Western in a few years” and then *poof* have another 3:10 to Yuma or something. Maybe it does work that way and I’m just inadvertently wishing for the wrong things – look, fate, I really don’t need another crappy hand-shot horror film. I don’t know what you think I asked for, but that wasn’t it.
Of course, now that we have a decent courtroom drama, we have to observe the rules – unwinnable case, alcoholism, ridiculous manipulation of system (breaking it in order to save it), lawyer with personal demons, last minute surprise testimony, someone shouting “YOU’RE OUT OF ORDER!”. I mean, there’s gotta be some contempt of court, right? The Judge has a few of these. Been too long, though; we’re too far removed from the animal to get all the pieces in there.
I was reluctant when I saw the director credit. David Dobkin is not my friend. David Dobkin pisses me off. His last three films have been awful comedies (The Change-Up, Fred Claus and Mr. Woodcock), and he’s following these with a drama?! Is it any wonder he doesn’t get the rules? How is this gonna work?
And yet, The Judge does work. Why does The Judge work? Because Robert Downey Jr. is the most watchable actor in Hollywood. He’s like the consummate poker player on screen – you see exactly what he wants you to see and no more. When he’s pissed off, you know why and then wonder what he’ll do; when he’s arrogant, you wonder what he’s hiding, when he’s thinking, you try to second guess him. It rarely works. He makes a 
great lawyer; watch him diffuse a bar brawl with legalese and then slide smoothly into flirting with Listen, Mister. Er, I mean Leighton Meester. (Babe, seriously, please change your name.)
Chicago hotshot lawyer Hank Palmer (Downey) returns to his backwoods stomping grounds for mom’s funeral. The movie is smart enough to accuse him of manipulating a current Chicago case to his advantage, and smarter still to not have him bite. Real lawyers don’t overreact. Widower Judge Joseph Palmer (Robert Duvall) is the one-horse town’s judicial fossil. Outside the courtroom, he’s a coot about all things, but seems relatively fair while on the bench. He’s the kind of guy who will give you justice in court, but extend none of the same at home. Hank explains to his own daughter, “he’s dead TO ME. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a grandfather.” Oh, I get it; this movie is about reconciliation. Everything else is window dressing.
Admittedly, the window dressing is compelling. The Judge returns the day after his wife’s funeral with a big dent in his car and the blood of a newly dead man in the fender. The man was an enemy. Only amateurs will not see the obvious – the son will defend father from getting the chair. The question is not “who?” or “why?” but, “how?” as in “how will it be handled?” Do we get the coot stubbornly insisting on an idiot lawyer (Dax Shepard) first? *sigh* Do we get a son battling father while he’s on the witness stand? *sigh* Yeah, there’s a lot not to enjoy here if you’re of a mind. Yet, The Judge had a chance to be a great film. Really. A murder trial is a brilliant way to mask a simple blood resolution. The players are great – Downey, Duvall, Vera Farmiga as the old flame, Billy Bob Thornton as the prosecutor, Vincent D’Onofrio and Jeremy Strong both made wonderful Palmer brothers. But eventually you get to the point where a son (and a son with serious parental issues at that) is defending his father on murder. That’s silly. And it shows. Not initially, but you’ll get there.
There’s more vomiting in The Judge than I can remember in any other recent film. I mean, it’s certainly dwarfed volume-wise by the fair scene in Stand by Me or the restaurant scene in The Meaning of Life, but there’s vomit in every act. Hard to lose those “comic” roots, huh Dobkin? After The Judge, however, would you mind terribly losing them, say, forever?
Downey has to defend his senior
In a twist more than a tad convenienter
Don’t be glum
In the Frog forum
I’m the judge, jury and executioner
Rated R, 141 Minutes
D: David Dobkin
W: Nick Schenk and Bill Dubuque
Genre: Suspended disbelief license, six weeks
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Disgruntled middle children
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Legal sticklers
