Not long ago, we talked about The Penguin Lessons, the thesis being that there have been many, many films about pet adoption and all of them center about a reluctant protagonist. The reason for the reluctance is obvious: in general, people who want pets have pets, people who do not, do not. When you thrust a pet upon a non-pet owner, they are likely to summon all the reasons they don’t have a pet – they have been over them before. This is the kind of choice that gets made often in wealthy countries.
Every film in turn, essentially, is saying: “You don’t know what you’re missing.” This is patently untrue. Non-pet owners know exactly what they’re missing; that’s why they’re missing it. But people still love films about dogs, and all films need conflict, hence cliché: a reluctant-yet-not-fully-informed-protagonist.
And with that, today’s film is The Friend, where Naomi Watts acquires a Great Dane because of The Friend (Bill Murray), who committed suicide, which is a shitty way to get out of pet ownership. The Friend left behind a used brownstone and a depressed monster [read: Great Dane named “Apollo”] in his wake. Dogsitting is a tall order. Dogsitting in Manhattan is a taller order. In this film, The Friend wills his pet to Iris (Watts), a woman he only slept with once, which feels like a victory in this film.
The more we learn about Walter (Murray), the less we like him. But we do like his dog, and his dog is what this film is about. Iris has a rent-controlled apartment. It doesn’t allow pets. And, hey, maybe the super can look the other way about a small cat or one of those purse dogs, but there’s no hiding a Great Dane. And the giant depressed behemoth has decided between hunger strikes that Iris’ bed is the place to be. Well, sure, he’s a dog.
The first hour of
this film is -essentially- Iris coming to terms with Apollo (you’re mismatching your theologies, people). The second hour is figuring out how Apollo can stay in her life. Can she figure out her new life before she has a nervous breakdown? Probably not.
The Friend doesn’t have enough material or juicy characters to justify two full hours. The major player is the dog who only requires about five minutes of your attention to know all you need to know about him. While it’s always nice to see the under-utilized Naomi Watts show up, I wish the screenplay gave her more to do than play devil dog’s advocate. Now is clearly the time of year in which 2024 film festivals are making their mark. These are the films that weren’t good enough for Oscar or timely release, yet had enough merit to justify an underwhelming national release. Sacramento, Hell of a Summer, The Luckiest Man in America, The Friend – these films are all like former collegiate superstars with limited pro careers – yeah, in your little pond, you were a big deal. Congratulations. But now the stakes are higher and you’re just not Best in Show here, knowwhatI’msayin’?
There once was a man in massive pain
His suicide released a Great Dane
The canine’s new owner
Embraced the love shown her
But that doesn’t solve her monster migraine
Rated R, 119 Minutes
Director: Scott McGehee, David Siegel
Writer: Scott McGehee, David Siegel, Sigrid Nunez
Genre: New pet owner
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Dog lovers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Apartment supers
