Have you tried not singing? That was my first thought upon hearing Juliet & Romeo offer a duet about getting caught on Juliet’s balcony. It might be easier to keep your taboo tryst under wraps if you just stopped singing about it, y’know? Just a thought.
The latest iteration of William Shakespeare’s classic tale of stupid love is full of eye-opening tweaks. The question is whether any of them were necessary, welcome, or even enjoyable.
What’s old? Juliet (Clara Rugaard), a Capulet, and Romeo (Jamie Ward), a Montague, fall in love despite a generational grudge between their families.
What’s new? These two meet at a mock duel, not a party. Don’t mock it ‘til you try it. That reminds me how I met my wife at a mock joust.
What’s almost new? Music. I suppose we’ve all seen West Side Story, so the introduction of music isn’t new, but the music itself is … and it’s probably the best part of this film. What’s really new? A duet between the Apothecary (Dan Fogler?!) and the Friar (Derek Jacobi).
What’s old? Verona, Italy. We’re still here.
What’s new? Chase scenes, at least two of them, cuz this romance thing is such a drag. Let’s get lit and spice it up a little, amIright?
What’s almost new? An intimate bedchamber scene. I know, I know. You’re saying “That’s not new!” Oh, but what if I told you the scene was between Mercutio and Veronica.
What’s old? The 16th century setting – or something resembling it, I think. Chamberpots, headlice, women dressed like drapes, you know, the whole Renaissance thing, sorta.
What’s new? Politics. Something about Rome taking over. I didn’t understand that part, and I daresay, it wasn’t important.
What’s almost new? No Shakespearean prose. Not the first time that’s happened, of course, but given setting and theme, I still expected a “Wherefore art thou?” or two, yes? No.
Tell me, if Lord Montague is played by Jason Isaacs, doesn’t that make this Romeo … Draco Malfoy? You killed Mercutio! Just wait until my father hears about this!”
What’s old? Romeo and Juliet themselves. They may not be the oldest R&J in the history of the play, but damn they’re close.
What’s new? A real feeling of tame. The pall of death hangs over every other Romeo and Juliet tale – the romance is doomed and there’s a body count to prove it. Vengeful people are constantly out-for-blood because of this ongoing feud. The first death in this film happens 90 minutes in, and I’m not entirely sure he dies.
Finally, something that’s neither new nor old, but just a mistake – a happy ending. Romeo
and Juliet is a tragedy. Is it intended to be a tragedy. There’s a lesson here about the passion of youth and the dangers of bigotry. The overwhelming sense of this play is one of tragic waste, that no matter how strong love is, prejudice is stronger. That’s a great lesson for the time we live in where evil people in charge are determined to deport their perceived enemies.
If you take away the tragic ending, the lesson is, “What’s a dead body or two? This is love!”
From the first shot of Rebel Wilson as Lady Capulet to a couple who is easily twice as old the intended couple from the play, Juliet & Romeo is a fail. Surprisingly, this has nothing to do with either the addition of music or the loss of Shakespeare’s words. This is simply a bad version of a classic tale. The best is probably still Franco Zeffirelli’s 1968 film, but either West Side Story is an acceptable answer to this question. This version will be long forgotten before the year ends.
Two lovers Romeo and Juliet
Were enemies long before they met
But love finds a way
(Unless you’ve seen the play)
In a romcom there’s null to regret
Rated PG-13, 122 Minutes
Director: Timothy Scott Bogart
Writer: Timothy Scott Bogart, William Shakespeare
Genre: Retellings that make you wonder why they just didn’t stick to the original
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: You gotta have it bad for Jamie Ward, I think
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “Why change something if you’re not going to improve upon it?”
