Wiki tells me that Plankton is a cyclops copepod. Copepods are tiny crustaceans often known as “water fleas.” I had to look all that up. There are films aimed at adults that make you feel dumber; there are films aimed at kids that make you feel smarter. Plankton: The Movie is among the latter. And on top of that, while I’ve never really cared for the world of Spongebob Squarepants, I’m currently thinking that could be a mistake.
Plankton (voice of Mr. Lawrence) is the tiny nemesis of Bikini Bottom. This little fella owns the Chum Bucket restaurant, consistent loser to the Krusty Krab in the universe of fictional sea-based fast-food rivalries. The only thing I knew about Plankton going into to this film is that he always wants to steal the Krabby Patty formula. He is not unlike Wile E. Coyote in his dogged determination despite continuous failure. To help his cause, Plankton built Karen (Jill Talley), a waterproof supercomputer. During this film, Karen evolves from simple calculator to leviathan-like monster.
Of course, if Karen turns the Chum Bucket into a successful Mexican restaurant, does that make her a suppercomputer? Well, that’s what happens, which causes Plankton to be a dick. From my understanding, Plankton is never not a dick, so I dunno why this is a breaking point, but it is. Spiteful of Karen’s success, Plankton burns down the successful version of the Chum Bucket and redoubles his effort to steal the Krabby Patty formula.
Meanwhile, Karen goes ballistic. She removes her own empathy chip and upgrades herself into MechaKaren, a Godzilla-like beast capable of destroying all of Bikini Bottom, but first she has to sing about it. And on a parallel track, we learn the depths of Plankton’s misery when Spongebob dons a Sigmond Freud disguise and hypnotizes Plankton for backstory.
Does this sound silly enough yet? Just wait. We’re only getting started. Karen has yet to evolve into the world-beating hydra of Super Evil
Karen, Super Smart Karen, and Super Snarky Karen. There’s something about an evil ballad that always gets to me.
Huh. How shall I put this? I’m an adult long past the age where Spongebob should have any appeal. They don’t usually rate these things “TV-7” cuz they have me in mind. I don’t care about Spongebob. I never really saw the appeal of that goofy-ass m*therf***er. That said, I never hated Spongebob like I hate The Smurfs. Cocksmurfers. Still, while I enjoy animation, my tastes run towards “Adult Swim” and “Rick and Morty,” not Bikini Bottom. ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, I enjoyed Plankton: The Movie. I enjoyed woke Karen finding her own voice, even if it was just to conquer the universe. “I am (computer) woman, hear me roar,” huh? I doubt very much this material will pique my interest again, but it works for now.
There once was a computer named Karen
Who got tired of the old man’s blarin’
She upgraded her net
And when she reset
The entire ocean world got to starin’
Rated TV-PG, 87 Minutes
Director: Dave Needham
Writer: Mr. Lawrence (?!), Kaz (?!), Chris Viscardi (Does this guy get teased in the Spongebob world for having a normal name?)
Genre: Delusions of grandeur
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: The kind of people who like it when evil beings sing about being evil
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: If you aren’t into silly villainy, well, you’re not alone
