It’s been a while since E.T. was a thing. Nice to know there’s still value in poking that blister. In E.T., a bunch of aliens come to Earth, play hide and go seek, and while the goofy one is counting, his boys ditch him. Same deal here, really. There’s a bunch of weird simian-like dudes in this remote forest, and a small one is abandoned when he gets caught in a bear trap.
It’s not a real bear trap, of course, cuz ochis are small, and the movie is PG. It’s more like that chattering teeth prop you find in joke stores.
Nevertheless, these people were determined to make an E.T. tale, so when the ochi hunters give up being dicks, the sensitive one among them, Yuri (Helena Zengel), gives Willem Dafoe the proverbial finger and finds this monkey guy in the forest. And so you have a kid befriending an innocent member of an alien race while fearful adults do fearful adult things.
But it’s nothing like E.T.
Actually, you know what? It isn’t. The Legend of Ochi is far more a derivation of How to Train Your Dragon. Lemme ‘splain. You start off in the north. Way north. An island. Probably Scandinavian, might be Scottish, English, Icelandic … doesn’t matter. The island of Carpathia is home to humans battling fantasy creatures for so long, they’ve forgotten why they’re battling them in the 
first place. Then a lowly member of their rank befriends an injured one, discovers they’re not so bad, and we all learn something new in the process, right?
Well sure, I guess, if this film had more to say. I think it was mostly so fascinated with the ochi that it forgot to tell a life lesson … or the life lesson is just a bit overdone by now. Respecting other people and cultures?! That is SO last year. We’re all about deportation and dickery now!
The Legend of Ochi is kinda cute, but ultimately kinda empty. This is the kind of film in which you should want to learn more about the strange new creatures, like in E.T. or How to Train Your Dragon, or, dare I say? Alien. That didn’t happen here. I wish it did, but I have no need of Ochi 2: The Ochening.
An ochi is a creature of the forest
Who does their best to ignore us
But it’s hard to retire
To the sound of gunfire
So instead they aim to be bore-est
Rated PG, 96 Minutes
Director: Isaiah Saxon
Writer: Isaiah Saxon
Genre: E.T. ripoffs
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: E.T.
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Bigots
