Is the Western really not dead? Better question: is 2024 not yet dead? I thought we were done with the run of previously unsponsored filmfest fodder, but here we are again — an iffy film with a big enough cast to find an eventual release. The Unholy Trinity is a pretty good title, but kinda oversells a film in which neither Satan nor Jesus plays a role.
As the film begins, old man Broadway is about to be hanged. Does he point out that he hid a fortune in treasure somewhere? Naw. He just wants to make sure he’s avenged, setting his neophytic son up for an even worse life than he had.
Thanks, Dad.
I mean, think about this seriously – you get one chance to get a final message to your son. You are sitting on the knowledge of a treasure store. You also are about to be hanged, maybe some fatherly advice on how not to follow in these particular footsteps. Nope. The message is: There’s a sheriff in a town you’ve never seen who needs killin’. Go kill him. This is one of the greatest deathbed dick moves of all time. The kid ain’t exactly in the mafia. I don’t want to say Henry Broadway (Brandon Lessard) is soft, but this lad is more comfortable with a pillow and blanket than with guns, fistfights, whores, and alcohol. And his old man has, with his dying breath, essentially condemned Henry to a life of ugliness.
Henry gets to town and confronts the sheriff (Pierce Brosnan), only to find out
he ain’t the guy he’s looking for. And then Samuel L. Jackson shows up looking for his share of treasure. Both of these events and immediately overshadowed by the town bully. Three guesses as to who gets involved with the wrong people at the wrong time.
It’s hard not to like Pierce Brosnan or Samuel L. Jackson, so The Unholy Trinity has some assets going for it. But it buried the lede (treasure!) in a plot that was certain to be unsuccessful. It also gets the kid in a lot of unnecessary trouble. There will be shootouts and blood before the film finishes, and -clearly-the film has banked on action instead of plot, which makes me wonder why it needed to take place in 1870 Montana Territory. The Unholy Trinity isn’t a terrible film, but probably shouldn’t have escaped the film fest circuit.
There was once a young adult, Hank
Who received a mission that stank
Dad, about to die
Said, “Go kill that guy!”
Hard to know to whom he should thank (eyeroll)
Rated R, 95 Minutes
Director: Richard Gray
Writer: Lee Zachariah
Genre: Titles that sound cooler than “kid gets in over his head”
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Western junkies
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The kind of person who roots for avenging brothers in Westerns
