There are better reasons to make a film than passing the Bechdel Test. I know this thought isn’t gonna make me popular. All I can say is Barbie was my #1 in 2023. Wicked was my #1 in 2024. OTOH, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret was awful. I like to think I’m capable of evaluating film as film. Period. I don’t hate women’s films. Neither do I love women’s films.
I love good film. I hate bad film.
My Mother’s Wedding is a bad film. It is boring, plotless, and the entire first half of the film lacks anything resembling conflict. And when conflict does finally arrive, it feels contrived and overblown.
Now you can argue with me about the latter. Obviously, not being a woman, perhaps I don’t know exactly why a Scarlett-Johansson-aged-woman needs to fret about not having taken her (at the time) new stepfather’s surname at age 12 … or why a perpetually cheating husband was such a big deal that you needed to ruin your mother’s wedding over it.
I’m not even sure what the third daughter is supposed to be alarmed about? Because her mother doesn’t approve of her becoming a concubine? It doesn’t really matter. The film never developed that storyline anyway.
I’m not saying a cheating husband isn’t a big deal. It is. But the timing -presenting video evidence at mom’s wedding- is piss poor, and the controversy can’t be all that if it gets resolved in one scene, which it does. As for a child choosing not to take a father’s name? Fuck me sideways; why are we even talking about this?
I suppose I should backtrack as if something happened: twice widowed Diana (writer/director/co-star Kristen Scott Thomas) is getting married again. All three daughters, Navy Captain Katherine (Johansson), movie star Victoria (Sienna Miller), and
nondescript housewife Georgia (Emily Beecham) attend the wedding. None of them object to the groom, their mother’s choice, or anything about the wedding itself. They have issues, but, who doesn’t?
The biggest controversy in this film is Johansson passing herself off as so English that she can respectfully captain a Royal Navy vessel. That’s it. Such also accounts for the biggest moments in the film. The wedding and the daughter’s collective creek fight are nothing compared to lesbian Katherine commanding a ship. That’s why this film was made: to see Scarlett Johnasson take command of a really big boat. Strike a blow for fictional feminism. WOO!
Among other failures, My Mother’s Wedding has got to be the softest “R” I’ve seen in 2025. Is this rated R for women’s issues? What the Hell? I suppose there was the suggestion of sex with toys, but it was short and blurred. I feel like that’s a PG-13 at best. This film is a fail. A well-meaning fail, but a fail.
Next time, at least give us one man to hate, ok?
There once was a twice-widowed mom
Who lived out old age with aplomb
At wedding number three
Several might agree
The “conflicts” all rated a face-palm
Rated R [why?], 95 Minutes
Director: Kristin Scott Thomas
Writer: Kristin Scott Thomas, John Micklethwait
Genre: Has to be real life because fiction is never this boring
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who judge films exactly by the Bechdel test
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People who want to be entertained
