We may not be late-stage Rome quite yet, but when the United States bans a form of entertainment, it’s probably one you shouldn’t pursue. Yes, there is certainly a market for death. But let’s not go there yet. What’s the stage below that? The Ultimate Fighting Championship, where people don’t die quite as often.
I think.
Mark Kerr (Dwayne Johnson) is a real-life guy who pummeled people for a living. Perhaps the best part of the film is the camaraderie among the pummelings. In the ring, fighters cause mayhem, gauge eyes, deliberately pry open wounds, and attack weakness like a sadistic nun picking on a child. Out of the ring, however, everybody is a friend. “Hand me an Advil. Thanks.”
Ultimate Fighting Championships are not fought in the United States. The competition is banned here … or was at the time the film takes place (1987-2000). Mark Kerr fights opponents in Brazil, and then Japan. The brain damage is all worth the $3,000 paycheck.
I think.
Dawn (Emily Blunt) is Mark Kerr’s girlfriend. I think she’s bad luck for him. His worst moments in the ring are always preceded by these two having a kerfuffle. Oh, and I loathe that I have to keep saying Mark Kerr, but I have to because Mark Kerr’s biggest rival and best friend is Mark Coleman (Ryan Bader). Mark Coleman is there whenever the film needs somebody who isn’t Dawn to be sympathetic.
The entirety of The Smashing Machine is shot on hand-held camera which makes it look like a documentary. That’s great, except that it looks cheap. During
this interval of time, Mark Kerr had hair, hence The Rock dons a wig for most of the film. That’s great, except that it looks cheap. Winning an Ultimate Fighting Championship match? Oh, that’s easy. Every fight I saw, the victor shoved his head into his opponents’ midsection, took him to the ground, and started whaling on his head. And that, too is great. Except that it looks cheap.
I can’t say I thought much of this sport, this drama, or this film. Got some nice acting out of Emily Blunt and Dwayne Johnson, but I found it hard to care about the characters when I found that every one of them should have found a way to make a better living. This is only exacerbated by the fact that these guys have no personal trainer or personal doctor; they are all just on the outskirts of the kind of lucrative sport that covers all that … and I’d be very surprised if any of them could get insured for any reason. “What is it you do? You travel to a foreign country where you get hit in the head until you pass out? Well, gosh! Why didn’t you say so?! Let’s insure you!!”
There was once a pro fighter named Mark
With the killer instincts of a shark
But when his woman came ‘round
He suddenly found
His inner minnow hiding in the dark
Rated R, 123 Minutes
Director: Bennie Safdie
Writer: Bennie Safdie
Genre: Hair acting
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who have openly wondered what it looks like when moss covers The Rock
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Do we really need to see Emily Blunt act in between pummelings?
