On the one hand, you gotta love a girl who encounters her first tampon and says, “What Would Steve Jobs Do?” OTOH, you have to be horrified by a girl who encounters her first tampon and says, “What Would Steve Jobs Do?”
The joke and the curse of Everything to Me is that Claudia responds to all stimuli with “What Would Steve Jobs do?” This applies in everything from picking colleges to going all the way with her prom date. It’s all part of a weird plan. A copy-cat plan. Claudia wants to be the next Steve Jobs and figures that by following in his exact footsteps she would become Steve Jobs. Personally, I dunno how to acquire a fatal pancreatic tumor, but I swear if anyone could, it’s Claudia.
Claudia is a little disturbing in her vehemence, like that dude in high school who can’t wait for Model U.N. It is impossible to tell him: “You know we’re all just waiting for the big dance party, right? I mean Pakistan and India would never hook up IRL.” Still, the relentless Claudia bases 100% of her decisions (including menstrual ones as previously mentioned) on the life of Steve Jobs. She carries his biography in her backpack just in case. Speaking of which, the entire film is narrated in retrospect by adult Claudia on tour signing her own autobiography The Book of Jobs.
I grew a little frustrated with this film. I liked Claudia but only superficially. Her dogmatic behavior and
future focus made for adequate film material, but who really wants to see a movie about that kid, huh? I mean, the straight-A Stanford-bound overachiever deserves recognition, sure, but they’re already going to get it in the form of academic accolades and lucrative job offers. Unless they burn out … in which case, the film is less coming-of-age and more coming-of-tragedy.
Unfortunately, a little one-track and dull, Everything to Me takes forever to get to the point: that Claudia’s focus putting her mythologized idea above all else isn’t actually the best idea a teen girl ever had … especially one who -smart as she is- might not be cut out to be Steve Jobs. I mean, if you think about it, in the history of life, there has only been one (1) Steve Jobs, and he’s already happened. I liked this coming of age better than Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret. Yet I still wouldn’t recommend either film.
There once was a girl into Steve Jobs
Avoiding all pitfalls of her peer group blobs
A social black hole
Stanford was her goal
And then businessing with entrepreneurial snobs
Not Rated, 90 Minutes
Director: Kayci Lacob
Writer: Kayci Lacob
Genre: The stupid we admire
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Women reflecting on their own “Coming of Age” story
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Geez, gal, can you give the Steve Jobs thing a rest? He really wasn’t all that.
