Oh hot dog, Angel Studios promotes yet another generation-baiting testimony to white privilege. But this one is fun, see? Because … football! Everybody loves football! Right? And who doesn’t love a Rudy story of underdog overachievement?
Well, except me. Sure, I like Rudy and all (actually, that’s not true; I didn’t like Rudy all that much, but you get the idea, right?). I think the stunt in question here takes away from the exploits of every other player on the team, all of whom are better players. Where are their “overcoming adversity” stories? And would we give a rat’s ass about them if the subject were black? I want you to think hard about that question when I tell you about today’s film.
Real life “hero” Mike Flynt (Michael Chiklis) is a 59-year-old mediocre white man who gets a stupid idea in his head. God help people who can be described as such. You see, once upon a time, Mike was a hot head linebacker for the Division 3 Sul Ross University Lobos. He got in a bitchin’ fight and got kicked out of school. Despite this emotional indulgence, his life was not ruined; he managed to attract a wife and collect a house and a lovely family along the way. This should have been the end of his story.
Ah, but Mike is a rural white American man; the stupid dreams of rural white American men are more important than the dreams of everybody else. And they should never be ridiculed for there will always be a group of sycophantic -and often violent- idiots to support them. At age 59, Mike recognized that he never graduated college, and -by the way- still has a year of eligibility left. So, hey, why not enroll and go out for the football team? BTW, this film is 100% about football and 0% about getting his degree.
This is a monumentally bad idea. Just loony bins bad. American football is not a sport anyone should take lightly and certainly shouldn’t be indulged by anyone not in peak athletic prime-of-life condition. Because American football WILL take that from you. Mike makes the team. Yay, Mike. And when Mike gets hurt before the season opener, exactly nobody is surprised.
Oh, and Mike’s wife (Mary Stuart Masterson – geez, did she re-enroll in college on an acting thing to make this film?) isn’t hip to this plan. Mike decided before he told his wife. Fantastic, hubby. Super, dad. Great plan.
Look, I could kinda get behind the idea of an old guy wanting to play college ball again. Sure, what weekend warrior hasn’t had that fantasy? But when you approach this idiocy without spousal approval AND get hurt – which is an obvious conclusion to this really bad idea- this scheme then beyond white privilege – oh, and lemme stop there. If Michael Flynt is Black or Hispanic, do 
you think he gets this chance? HELL NO- this idea goes beyond supernormal narcissism, bounding aimlessly into moron territory.
The Senior absolutely reeks of white privilege — from the dream of re-upping past one’s prime, and the ability to do so because of income, and societal indulgence not generally afforded to women or minorities. This plot is a FOX news special – a feel-good story for generation-baiting assholes to indulge in instead of going over actual news, you know, the news that might make Fox viewers reflect on their poor voting choices. By-the-way, the bad acting and unnecessary bible additions are priceless mementos from this indulgence in ego. The bottom line for me here is although I was offered a number of reasons why Mike was playing competitive football again at age 59 (abusive father, Great Santini complex, desire for degree, achieve completeness, etc.), I’m not sure the film ever got around to stating the honest one: this guy is an egocentric asshole.
And any screenplay that plays off a potential coma-inducing injury with dialogue like:
“Honey, it’s just a game”
“IT’S MORE THAN THAT!”
Isn’t worth my time or yours.
If you need “oldest guy to ever play college football” on your résumé, you should really think about getting another hobby.
There once was an old man named Mike
Who wanted one last football to spike
Like some kind of fool
He re-upped at school
Thwarting fam and psychologists alike
Rated PG, 99 Minutes
Director: Rod Lurie
Writer: Robert Eisele
Genre: Poor Man’s Rudy
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: “You kids today have it so easy”
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Me
