I don’t know who Julia Whelan, Allison Burnett, or Melissa Osborne are other than being the co-writers of My Oxford Year. The two women here, Julia and Melissa, have combined one (1) feature film written between them. It was the inexplicably titled My Fault: London, another bad Netflix film. Ah, I see. You must be under contract. Allison, a guy as it turns out, has over a dozen screenplay credits. The best of these include Autumn in New York and Underworld: Awakening.
The BEST of them.
I didn’t know this going in. It surprises me not coming out. I imagine three mediocrities with a vague idea, Adderall, and one night before a deadline to get a working screenplay together. If my vision is true, hey, not bad, gang. However, if this trio spent any more than sundown-to-sunup on this screenplay, it sucked. Am I clear?
Anna De La Vega (Sofia Carlson) isn’t looking for romance. She has a big plan: College.Oxford.Goldman Sachs. Seems like a decent plan, tbh, as long as you have a reasonable shot at the latter two. Few people do. I love how Oxford is simply seen as a mild amusement until life happens, not one that is intended to alter or aid a career path in any way. Yeah, that’s what most of us think about Oxford, right. I remember growing up thinking that I was gonna go to college, do some grad work at Harvard, and then play free safety for the Oakland Raiders. That’s kinda what this plan sounds like, TBH.
Romance doesn’t so much find Anna as splashes her with a puddle from a recklessly-driven Jaguar. Ah, the meet-cute. It gets cuter when Anna finds the driver, Jamie (Corey Mylchreest) hiding from an ex and asking strangers to cover. Geez, I don’t even know this guy’s name and there are already two major strikes against him. And as if you need a third, Jamie turns out to be Anna’s seminar teacher. Yeah, cuz student-teacher romance is always such a good idea, huh?
Jamie seems attracted to Anna’s belligerent Americanism. Anna seems 
attracted to the fact that there is something seriously wrong with Jamie -physically- but we have a full act to guess what it is before we’re told. [And once we are told, the mechanics of the film are 100% wrong.]
My Oxford Year seemed desperate to make a romance where none should exist. (A little early for a Christmas romance, doncha think?) I didn’t hate either lead -and I could have hated Jamie based on how we were introduced to him- but unfortunately such is the best thing that can be said about them. I did enjoy when they shared smiles. Romance is still romantic … even when it’s lame. Yet, all-too-soon the film succumbed to the weight of its unwieldy plot and left us a full Act III to wonder if we liked these two enough to get emotional. I did not.
There once was a co-ed called Anna
Taking a sabbatical from Americana
She met a cute Brit
But knew she’d have to split
Cuz ain’t no way he’s coming to Indiana
Rated PG-13, 112 Minutes
Director: Iain Morris
Writer: Julia Whelan, Allison Burnett, Melissa Osborne
Genre: Things that didn’t happen … but in England
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Romantic fools
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: If you don’t like good romance, you certainly won’t like this one
