The bell to the Masturbatorium is broken … from overuse, presumably. The opening shot of the panel of summons bells pans from the standard Downton Abbey fare (“Dining Room”,”Master Bedroom”, etc.) to the Masturbatorium, and that bell is broken. Ha ha. I found that joke funny, and if you didn’t, please stay far away from Fackham Hall, because this Downton Abbey satire is not going to get any funnier.
A deliberate and aggressive parody of Downton Abbey, Fackham Hall [read: “f*ck ‘em all”] chronicles the lives Lord Davenport (Damian Lewis) and his clan and waitstaff. The jokes are frequent; the payoff is rare. When we meet Lord and Lady Davenport they are discussing the upcoming marriage of their “pretty” daughter while bemoaning their other daughter, Rose (Thomasin McKenzie), for being a shriveled-up old maid having reached the age of 23. Then the camera pans to find an unperturbed Rose sitting right next to them. Ha ha.
With several dead sons, The Davenports will eventually yield the ridiculously endowed Fackham Hall estate to cousin Archibald (Tom Felton). [The gate to Fackham Hall reads: “INCESTUS AD INFINITUM.” Ha ha.] their ability to keep it in the family fails when Poppy (Emma Laird) jilts Malfoy at the altar for the local dung merchant. Ha ha.
Ah, but there’s hope! What if The Davenports can get Rose to marry Archibald? Seems like a good idea on paper, except Rose is into new butler Eric (Ben Radcliffe), who shows a visible erection upon supplying Rose with tea. Ha ha.
If I’m being honest, for all the jokes this film made re: Downton, there was a lot more humor to be mined from how trivial Downton matters are to the rest of the world, like how using the wrong fork, saying the wrong word, or being caught talking to the wrong person can make one a pariah among the upper crust.
There are
a lot of jokes here. Most are failures. Is the film worth it for the ones that hit? Or the subtle ones you’re unlikely to catch – like when Eric needs a full tux in seconds and goes to the fastest clothes merchant in the area: “Tailor Swift?” Ha ha.
No, it isn’t. The plot sucks and films like this always make you feel a little dirty for watching them. I don’t think the trade-off is worth it. However, there are a few redeeming graces in case you indulge – one is that there are, indeed, a few jokes that work. Some are indeed dirty. Where else are you going to find the word “Masturbatorium” without getting an NSFW message anyway? Wouldn’t that be a fun room in Clue? Gives the Rope weapon new meaning as well, huh? Another big positive is some of us hated Draco Malfoy and never thought he got what was coming to him. Watching Tom Felton humiliated consistently in this spoof might just be worth it for Potter-Heads.
Then again, it might not.
There once was a socialite named Rose
Passed over for marriage, we suppose
Is Old Maid her fate?
An idea you’ll hate:
Find yourself Jack Dawson, then who knows?
Rated R, 97 Minutes
Director: Jim O’Hanlon
Writer: Steve Dawson, Andrew Dawson, Tim Inman
Genre: Jokes that land at a 20% clip
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Downton Abbey-philes with a sense of humor
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Downton Abbey-philes without one
