Did it happen or didn’t it? I may never know the answer to that question. Starting with the fact that there wasn’t a single Dutch man in The Dutchman, this is a mildly disturbing and mildly confusing narrative about a man who is either having a noteworthy night or is lost in his own thoughts. I’ll let you decide that part.
Clay (André Holland) and Kaya (Zazie Beetz – continues to be one of the great names in the biz) have a marriage in trouble. She cheated on him, but has come back to him, which she thinks ought to count for something. He is lost in his own world, which usually amounts to fund-raising for worthy causes. Tonight, they have a party in Harlem for a political candidate. Clay has a speech to give. But now, they’re in marriage counseling with Dr. Amiri (Stephen McKinley Henderson).
The session isn’t going well and when it ends, Clay tries to storm off, but is held up by the doctor. Dr. Amiri hands him a copy of The Dutchman, presumably a play reflective of Clay’s current milieu. It turns out such couldn’t be more true as the pages of the play dictate the immediate future in which Clay becomes attached to Lula (Kate Mara), the very definition of a femme fatale. Lula spies Clay boarding the subway. She seeks him on the train and then kinda just doesn’t leave.
The weird thing is that everyone knows Lula is bad for Clay. Even Clay knows it. And for a meet-sultry, their conversation 
isn’t seductive or friendly. It’s mostly challenging. For a guy who has a speech to give in Harlem in a few hours, Clay knows exactly how foolish it is to hook up with this white woman stranger.
And yet, here we are.
The Dutchman proved intriguing without being especially clever or poignant. So, film, you’re saying that in relationship politics the white woman will have the upper hand in a battle with a black man? Gee, tell us something we don’t know. This is precisely why we didn’t want Clay to journey down that rabbit hole in the first place. Ultimately, the film proves confusing and shallow. And if you didn’t dig the no-win struggle for Clay to control his life once Lula is part of it, you’ll hate this film. I liked it enough to see how Clay would dig himself out after digging his own grave, but not enough to recommend it.
There was once a freelancer called Clay
Who found romance on an uptown subway
Should have kept it in his pants
Because the consequential dance
Would make anybody have a bad day
Rated R, 88 Minutes
Director: Andre Gaines
Writer: Qasim Basir, Andre Gaines, Samiri Baraka
Genre: Can you identify the femme fatale?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who love it when white chicks spoil things
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Anybody confused
