At last look -despite all evidence to the contrary- the zombie population was still going strong. 28 Years Later, these zombies have zero ability to address illness, injury, cold, shelter, or lack of food, and, yet, the population has flourished; it has even grown stronger, if that’s possible. Some of the surviving zombies, in fact, are freakishly strong. Samson (Chi Lewis-Parry), for instance, can separate your spine from your body as easily as cracking an egg. Are we sure this virus is all bad?
When we last left this dystopian mess, this English island of humanity gave us hope in the form of benevolent mad doctor Ian (Ralph Fiennes) and coming-of-age survivor Spike (Alfie Williams).
So much for that.
At the start of 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, Spike is having a run-in with The Jimmies, a human gang of homicidal teens while Dr. Ian is facing down Samson. Nope, the post-apocalypse still sucks, fellas. These aren’t battles that are winnable, and yet … forced to a single combat to the death, the hopelessly overmatched Spike manages to find a femoral artery and “victory.” Similarly, the iodine-smothered doctor soothes the savage beast with medicine, kindness, and an odd selection of 1980s pop.
Seriously, the best part of this most disjointed film is watching Ralph Fiennes wander around singing Duran Duran to himself, “Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand …♫” Meanwhile, Spike is “welcomed” to the bad wig club and re-dubbed “Jimmy.” I thought this might be a Saul/Paul biblical moment, but they’re all re-named “Jimmy.” Their adult supervisor -for lack of a better word- (Jack O’Connell) has an occult thing going on. Naturally, he’s intrigued by the guy who built The Bone Temple. Somebody
is going to come out of that meeting most disappointed.
The scene is bleak – we like kid, but his star has been hijacked by a group of bloodthirsty killers with terrible fashion. We like the doc, but he’s on his own and attracted the attention of mass killers, human and inhuman. Buddy, lemme tell ya: Duran Duran is not gonna save you even if you’re hungry like the wolf.
Despite a set-up designed for pain, 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple is strangely satisfying. For instance, this film is very similar in set-up and payoff to Greenland 2: Migration, and yet Bone Temple is the far more satisfying watch. I predict that before long, this film will get lost and will be hard to distinguish from 28 Years Later. I’m guessing both will play together at revivals. [Same writer, different director, but same universe, mostly same cast, and same time period; these films are naturally linked.] Is that enough for you? Well, in January, probably.
There once lived a mad doctor all alone
In zombie world, he constructed a temple of bone
His pyramid of skulls
Didn’t attract the girls
But his gruesome brought psychopaths to his zone
Rated R, 109 Minutes
Director: Nia DaCosta
Writer: Alex Garland
Genre: Our screwed future
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Duran Duran
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Cultists
