While the Best Films had a noticeable dip in quality in 2025, I cannot say the same of the Worst Films. Of course, 2025 didn’t technically include Melania, which could quite be the worst film ever made, almost entirely because of how and why it was made (the content is also abysmal, but such is irrelevant for the present). But I’m getting ahead of myself. Melania is next year’s front-runner. For now, let’s focus on the worst 2025 had to offer:
DISHONORABLE MENTION
I really thought Scarlett Johansson would add something to this. Or, at least, “ScarJo 
wouldn’t sign onto a project this bad.” Unfortunately, she would.
A fiftysomething comes out of retirement to complete at rodeo … a sport for which I hope the steers are a match age-wise on old-timers day. And all to pay for an overwhelming medical bill. Well, I’m not sure riding bulls is the best way to alleviate medical issues. In fact, I think it’s quite the opposite. I couldn’t help imagining a world in which one didn’t feel like they had to risk life and limb to pay a medical bill. I can’t be alone in this thought.
Speaking of imaginations, this next film seems to believe a sub-five-year-old will be entranced by the life of Jesus. Cuz what young lad isn’t riveted, wide-awake, and rapt during a sermon, huh?
For these next two, I feel bad about the panning. But if you come into my world, you better bring the heat, or I’m going downtown.
And with that baseball metaphor, I introduce you to Eephus, the least consequential film ever made. It’s about weekend warrior amateurs playing a game of baseball in the park. It isn’t funny, poignant, or meaningful in any sense of those words. But I do feel kinda bad for slamming it because nobody intended for the film to be anything along those lines. OK, great. So it lacked pretension. It also lacked entertainment. This film was equally as fun as watching a random game of baseball in the park. Whether you like that or not, that is entertainment you shouldn’t have to seek or pay for.
This is a documentary about … I want to say “Architecture,” but it’s really about rocks. Big rocks, small rocks, cut rocks, rough rocks. You like those rocks? Here are some more. This film was equally as entertaining as a trip to the local quarry. Again, the film had little pretention, but it also wasn’t good, nor something you expect to pay money to see.
That is a tall request for this film. Most thrillers are completely unimaginative, right? That’s what makes a good thriller, right? Oh, and a complete nothing for a protagonist. Quality formula.
On the heels of The Last Rodeo, here’s another slap-in-the-face to the generation now. Oh yeah, the 59-year-old hothead with health concerns can still bring it, college football wise. Oops, forgot to tell his wife. That might mean something to a mindset that actually cares what women think. Luckily, Angel Studios does not.
THE BOTTOM TEN
10. Tron: Ares
A new rebooting
Jeff Bridges exhumed for role
Should have kept buried
Gangsters: all the same?
Or does Robert DeNiro
Just suck at acting?
8. Resurrection
Film is way out there
Took a very clever mind
To fail this hard
7. Smurfs
Two Gargamels and
Three Papa Smurfs and Paris
You know what? Don’t ask
The pro-life movement
As dishonest as any
Force known to humans
5. Anemone
Danny Day-Lewis
Unretires for his son
To make a bad film
A new batch of Trek
Collective alien blech
Beam me the Hell out
3. Playdate
I ask you: Is there
Anything funnier than
An Amber Alert?
2. Magellan
Famous explorer
Of circumnavigation
Film needs to get lost
The aliens come
To destroy humans and make
An Amazon ad
