There are a handful of specifically themed movies that -once upon a time- I wanted to believe in. These are films that have given in to conspiracy theories. Films are good venue for such; a theory can be presented and debunked in a review or a subsequent film, but the presentation thesis remains forever just in case. JFK is probably the best of these films, and I loved it for years, thinking I was part of some special group with knowledge only those with open minds could possess.
Now? It’s all cringe.
Why? Because the vast majority of conspiracy theories are nonsense. And while it was fine when the tin-foil-hat crew held no power, we Americans are now being ruled almost entirely by the idiots who promoted pizzagate and “the Russia Hoax” and “they’re eating the cats and dogs.” It’s not funny anymore. In fact, it’s quite serious. Laws are being promoted on the premise that the 2020 election was stolen. [You’ve had six years, fellas, and access to everything; we’re long past the time for proof.] And, of course, the same people who promoted nonsensical conspiracies are only too happy to ignore genuine ones, like LET’S BRING ALL THE EPSTEIN OFFENDERS TO JUSTICE.
Bottom line? Conspiracy theories aren’t just annoying wastes of time any longer; they are dangerous tools for a-moral actors. They have clouded reality and divided this country into “people who understand reality” and “people who watch Fox news.” It was fine when the Newsmax crowd held no power, but now it’s running this divided country straight into the ground … while simultaneously telling us we’ve never had it better. Hence, I’ve lost all patience for conspiracies.
This brings us to today’s film, a “classic,” the first feature film from future award winner Darren Aronofsky. This film is a conspiracy-theorist’s wet dream. It was probably a big deal in 1998. I saw it for the first time, however, on Pi Day of 2026. And I wasn’t terribly impressed.
Max (Sean Gulette) lives by three rules: 1. Mathematics is the language of nature. 2. Everything in the natural world can be expressed in numbers. 3. Don’t feed them after midnight. Max is an unemployed shut-in in NYC’s Chinatown. I dunno how he has money. Everywhere in Manhattan ain’t cheap … even Chinatown. Max has a very Rain Man like condition where he’s great with numbers; he uses his higher powers to understand complex phenomena. Currently, he’s working on the stock market.
This is 1998, so Pi can be forgiven for outdated tech. A computer that prints gibberish and then dies? Yeah, that tracks. Here’s the part I don’t get: Why is anybody interested in Max? Or, specifically, why does anyone think that Max has some line on special knowledge? Because that’s exactly where this picture goes. Shortly after printing gibberish and tossing it, Max gets pressure from two groups, one is a Wall Street firm trying to manipulate the stock market (not unlike Max); the other is a group of Hasidic Jews looking to bring about a gilded age. Both insist that the key is a 216-digit number known only to Max.
It is 100% unclear to me why either group thinks Max is the answer to their problems. And, yet, this is the kernel of conspiracy theorist thinking, isn’t it? Some arcane piece of shit imaginary fact inside your brain is the key to life, the universe, and everything … and, suddenly, while
nobody knows the specific information but you, everybody knows you know the facts. That’s it, isn’t it? Some sort of ridiculous self-promotion based on zilch. Nothing. Nada.
And this is fine if it is independent of society. But we have come to a time in our collective human history in which expertise, science, knowledge, the genuine work to extract and verify concrete fact has been replaced by “I did my own research.” Which, in 100% of cases means, “you’re better off listening to literally anyone else.” This is Pi in a nutshell ~ Pecan pie?
The 2026 version of me has little patience for Pi; it seems stuck in a world where the little guy, alienated by society, is undervalued and underappreciated. We now know that there are millions of Americans who feel this way, and when they act together on their unchecked and under-reviewed “researched,” they can cause a lot of damage. They can even put an insane narcissistic asshole -with a proven record of incompetence and lawlessness- back in the White House.
This seems odd, no? I mean, did Pi -once a very respected debut- become a worse film in the last 28 years? No … and yes. Movies are timeless because their scenes are timeless, their messages are timeless, their stories are timeless. Pi isn’t timeless on any of these counts. Pi is one crazy anonymous guy falling apart while his world closes in set to the worst black and white photography I’ve ever seen. I can respect it for its moments of thrill and revelation, but for little else.
There was one a conspiracist called Max
Who computed without need to relax
Hitting upon a coup
He found people who
Subjected him to relentless attacks
Rated R, 84 Minutes
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Writer: Darren Aronofsky, Sean Gullette, Eric Watson
Genre: Films that *now* make me cringe
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Nerds!
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Realists
