My dear confused fellow patrons:
Author: Jim
Moneyball
What if Brad Pitt played you in real life? Ok, that never happens. But Brad Pitt playing my father; that’s what Moneyball feels like to me.
Dolphin Tale
Oh, crap. We forgot to shoot the love story. Eh, screw it; it’s too long anyway.
I Don’t Know How She Does It
Yeah, I don’t either. That’s four awful films in a row for Sarah Jessica Parker.
Straw Dogs
Check it out – a rare film in which the rural South is depicted as backwards.
Hanna
My girl? She’s sunshine, daisies and badass.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Dark of the Moon is indeed better than its immediate predecessor, Rise of the Fallen. However, that’s like saying Diabetes is better than Smallpox.
Killer Elite
Successfully assassinated two hours of my life.
The Smurfs
Muthersmurfing cocksmurfers.
The Help
Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer are all almost certain locks for Oscar nominations – I have no problem with this, nor should you.