“Mastur?”
Nymphomaniac, Vol. I & Vol. II
Want to hate sex? Have I got a movie for you.
The Pyramid
Actually, this movie is more of a Ponzi scheme.
Dumb and Dumber To
A deliberate misspelling of ‘too?’ Wa-hell, I’ve got a deliberate miss-adding up to ‘two’ (stars) for ya.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Reptiles. Pffft.
Tusk
Tsk.
Big Hero 6
Am I the only one who sees this title and thinks ‘Leonard, Part 6’? I hope so.
Wild Tales (Relatos salvajes)
Like Duck Tales, only with subtitles, evil … and no ducks.
Gone Girl
Come for the mystery. Stay for the pain.
The Salt of the Earth
Just in case you were feeling good about the human condition.