Two girls have reason to believe their creepy American Girl doll is possessed. One night, they come home very late to find scribble marks all over the living room walls, the doll sitting aside several red crayons and a note that says, “MISS ME?” :shudder: The girls throw the doll in the dumpster out back. Hours later, a pounding at the door jars them awake. Cautiously, the first girl opens in apartment door to find the “MISS ME?” note there on the stoop. Another pounding comes from inside the apartment. The second girl throws open the bathroom door to find the doll. This is just the first two minutes of The Conjuring.
The opening is to establish the Warrens (Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson) as ghost busters. There’s an even creepier tale to tell here. It’s the summer of 1971 and a couple (Lily Taylor and Ron Livingston) move their five girls to the new house of horrors in secluded Rhode Island. I know what you’re thinking, but the horror is NOT that it’s 1971. The dog won’t even go in the house. That’s ok, Biscuit or Pancake or whatever her name was will be dead by the following morning.
The arc of creepy is divided into the standard sections … we build in the systematic way. The film even explains it to us. I’ve forgotten the actual words they use, so I’m using my own:
- The annoying phase – creaking, doors moving slightly of their own accord, objects-not-so-permanent. Requires just reacting or NOT reacting from the players. You have to play it as if this is odd, but not a big deal. Pretty easy acting stuff, only difficult for those who show up in Paranormal Activity movies.
- The asshole phase – grabbing, shoving, breaking objects, slamming doors. A bit more of a challenge; the actor has to look alarmed and then do scared with a side of pissed off. You have to realize very slowly you’re in over your head. It’s a leap for, say, Miley Cyrus and Keanu Reeves, but most pros can handle it.
- The freeloader phase – spirit takes possession of person entirely and behaves as an American teen, completely selfish and rude behavior often attacking the very ones who have provided the loving environment. This is a job for the true actor – one must become a completely
different self-absorbed person from the one who shows up on set … all while wearing a whole new glop of heavy makeup. But you do get to use stuntmen for the 360 degree head turn.
The difference between The Conjuring and several other possession films of the genre is the moments are genuinely creepier and scarier. The clocks all stop at exactly 3:07 in the morning. The occasionally visible demon comes with a putrid smell. The weird jack-in-the-box mirror reveals ghosts when the music stops. The family likes to play “hide n’ clap”, which it turns out is a game of blindfolded hide-n-seek and not an STD of some sort. The seeker is blindfolded and gets to call upon hiders to deliver audible clues on request. And then you get the moment when the hider is in the bathroom while the seeker pursues the clap coming from the wardrobe. This wardrobe doesn’t lead to Narnia, my friends.
Probably better not seeing this film alone, or with other people. Or at all. It’s creepy. Very creepy.
Patrick Wilson sells horror pretty well, which is why he made it into another James Wan film. And quietly, James Wan (Conjuring, Insidious, Saw), I daresay, has become the best horror director in the biz. It’s probably why he’s been given Fast & Furious 7.
When a demon drops by for a spell
It’s kinda tough to say, “oh, well”
Don’t look in the mirror
Cuz you just may see her
If you’re not safe, she’ll drag you to Hell.
Rated R, 112 Minutes
D: James Wan
W: Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes
Genre: Creepy!
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Those who enjoy being shaken, not stirred
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: My wife
