Reviews

Frozen

Disney is a company I will always respect. Because they do it right? No. Because they treat people right? No. Because I’m a seven-year-old girl? Um … no. Because their stuff is quality? (Snicker) No. Why? Because they know exactly what their clientele needs to see to be happy. Their latest manipulation of your psyche is Frozen, a colorful, villain-challenged film that differs not one whit the Disney playbook … and hence, you’ll probably love it all the same.

Anna (voice of Kristen Bell) and Elsa (Idina Menzel) are princesses. Elsa is the coed Scandinavian version of Frozone from The Incredibles. While screwing around one day making a winter wonderland out of the palace living room, she seriously injures Anna and the ‘rents have to take the broken girl to the trolls, which tends to be a bad idea in most films; this proves no different, as while these trolls are benevolent and magical and bring Anna back from the brink, they’re also really annoying.  Smurf-level annoying.  I’m just not sure the trade-off is worth it. It’s a Disney, having two live parents just won’t do; we kill them off in the next scene, leaving just the girls, except that Elsa, for fear of unleashing her power inadvertently, never associates with Anna. It’s not a complete loss — the sung lament “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” is my favorite Frozen2number in the musical.

FF to Elsa’s coronation years later — set free for an afternoon, Anna gets engaged to a stranger. Good gravy, girl, you work fast. Note to kingdom — don’t let Anna be Queen. Speaking of bad moves, Elsa rejects the marriage blessing and, in the ensuing fight with Anna, loses control and puts the queendom on ice. The film is then reduced to figuring out how to stop winter and an excuse to invite a boy-next-mountain-over, Hans (Santino Fontana), and a talking snowman, Olaf (Josh Gad), into the mix. On the scale of cringe-worthy magical creatures from the awful of the kill-me-now Lilliputians in Willow to my favorite — Japeth the eternally singing goat in Hoodwinked!, Olaf is decidedly in the middle. Don’t watch him in a bad mood; he won’t improve it, but do watch him with children.

Frozen is a film with the bare minimum of real controversy – girl has strange power; is told she needs to hide it, so she does. There. There’s your film. Bad guys exist for the sake of a movie needing bad guys. The hullabaloo lies entirely within getting one good-natured person under control. The film is a little like Beauty & the Beast without Gaston … or Beauty … or the Beast. Yeah, just a not-so-mysterious curse and a bunch of people who can’t break it. Frozen will delight your not-so-cynical child. Frozen may even delight your cynical adult. But it’s no Tangled, much less B&tB.

♪She’s Misses Ice Princess
She’s cold as snow
She’s her own refrigerator
As well as her own foe

They call her “Elsa”
Cuz that’s her name
If it snows, she’s to blame
What a shame♫

Rated PG, 108 Minutes
D: Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee
W: Jennifer Lee, Chris Buck and Shane Morris
Genre: Recycled Disney
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Your seven-year-old feminist
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: “Seen it.”

♪Parody inspired by “Snow & Heat Miser Song”

2 thoughts on “Frozen

  1. The biggest shame of this film is the opportunity Disney wasted–here’s an actual, authentic, traditional tale, Andersen’s The Snow Queen, in which the strong heroine saves a male. There’s a talking reindeer! A Little Robber Girl! An inhuman, beautiful queen of winter! What more do you need? A talking snowman, apparently, and some sibling angst.

    I grew up on Disney films, I appreciate their brilliant animation, excellent musical scores, attention to detail. But I hate their adherence to formula. In the Disney world view, a heroine must be, or become, a “princess”–no commoners allowed. A girl is permitted to perform heroic acts, as long as the heroism is along the lines of altering herself: giving up her voice, for example, or cutting her hair, or separating herself from her own culture and family. Boys become heroes by changing the world; girls become heroes by changing themselves.

    Disney took a fabulous story about an ordinary girl whose loyalty and perseverance triumph over cruelty and inhumanity, and turned it into typical princess drivel.

Leave a Reply