The spirit world is just constantly lookin’ for suckers, huh? Those undead hucksters constantly advertise with reverse-psychological forbiddenosity: “Don’t open the door.” “Don’t look in the box.” “Don’t dig up the dead.” “Don’t you forget about me.” “Don’t step on them blue suede shoes.” They’re practically daring us, are they not? That’s how they get ya.
Maria (Sarah Wayne Callies) and Michael (Jeremy Sisto) live in India where things are all fine ‘n’ vindaloopy until Maria takes a tuktuk to the gravegrave. Well, neither her tuktuk, nor her gravegrave, but the unseen accident caused her vehicle to plunge into the river below where she could only save her daughter. Stuck in the car, 5-year-old Oliver bought the lentil farm. And now mom is pretty obsessed [read: suicidal] about the turn of events.
“Ah, but check it out, you can still talk to your son,” claims housekeeper Piki (Suchitra Pillai). All you have to do is unearth your dead child, cremate him, take the ashes hundreds of miles away to this creepy, abandoned mausoleum in the middle of an uninhabited jungle, lock yourself in over night and don’t investigate The Other Side of the Door when he comes knockin’. Desperate for anything, Maria follows the instructions best she can, and, check it out, the boy does indeed contact from the other side; that’s quite the Oliver twist, huh? Say, wouldn’t it make more sense if the legend has you lock the door from the outside? When are you supposed to come out, anyway? And if the demons are already outside the door, isn’t your opening of the gateway actually trapping them in the mausoleum? You guys gotta work on your mythology. Just sayin’.
So what does Maria do when Oliver “goes away,” but opens the door. Uh oh, you gone and dunnit now. Look who’s awakening but the Indian demon of perpetual peek-a-boo. She’s gonna follow you around forever even if she can’t see you.
I love how Piki is all indignant when something goes wrong. “You didn’t listen! Now you unlocked evil!” Seriously? First, Piki, you put the buzz in 
Maria’s ear. You say nothing, nothing happens. Second, you didn’t make it clear what would happen. Third, you weren’t even freaking there to supervise. Come on. Let me put this in Aamerican terms: suppose I gave fresh-off-the-boat Rajah instructions on how to bowl a strike by himself at an alley two states away … and then I get mad when I discover he foot faulted. And I didn’t tell him that foot-faulting results in an imbalance of the natural order.
Does Bollywood ever do horror? I mean, after Maria wakes the dead is perfect time for an upbeat song-and-dance number, no? Big smiles, line dancing and maybe a duet with mom and the demon she’s unleashed. Wouldn’t that be cool? C’mon, man, let’s Oingo Boingo this Dead Man’s Party. Alas, The Other Side of the Door offers no musical interludes. Awwwwww. Instead, we get some ugly deaths cuz, well, that boy ain’t right. You get what you get when you raise the dead – no Oingo, and they certainly ain’t Grateful.
♪The first time in my grave
I was putrified
Kept thinking I would never live
Sans voodoo bona fide
But then I spent so many moons
Rotting dead there in my tomb
Welcoming gloom
And learned true meaning of doom
But now you’re back
Summoning me
I just wafted around this grave
Wondering why you will not see
I should have broke that safety lock
I should have fought for life, my own
If I had known for just one second
You won’t leave the dead alone
Now GO. Open that door
Just turn that knob now
We’re both engulfed in Indian folklore
Aren’t you the one who can’t seem to say, “Good-bye?”
And let me crumble
No, you just gotta up and pry
Oh no, hey I
Did not survive
Oh as long I am wormfood
I did not pass the age of five
I had a life curtailed
Call me among the living failed
Did not survive
Did not survive♫
Rated R, 96 Minutes
D: Johannes Roberts
W: Johannes Roberts, Ernest Riera
Genre: Making bad situations worse
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Dissatisfied ghosts
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Parents who have lost children
♪ Parody inspired by “I Will Survive”
