Christopher Nolan can do no wrong … and here’s the proof because there’s absolutely no reason The Dark Knight Rises should be anywhere close to a 9.0 in imdb. When Nolan made Inception, I thought his talents wasted on the superhero genre. Superhero films all essentially have the same plot, same themes and same execution. Nolan is a master of convolution and intrigue. Put a guy in a cape and you tend to get whack-a-mole for two hours no matter who directs.
So what does Nolan do? He decides to make the most complicated superhero movie ever. Plots, subplots, sub-subplots, bleakness, heroes, villains, and much in-between. The action begins with bad guy Bane deliberately sacrificing himself, gambling on the greed of the CIA (was it the CIA? There were sound issues throughout the film) and then trashes the plane midair where he’s being held hostage. Deliberately wrecking the plane you’re in while military guys are holding guns to your head … that can’t possibly be an actual plan, can it?
Good luck determining anybody’s motivation in this one. Just in case, I made a chart: 
In movieland, we begin eight years removed from the last Batfilm. Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) has spent the time doing a Howard Hughes impression. Unfortunately, it’s more like he’s been in a leg-breaking coma. Despite all the time to rest and reflect, Bruce walks with a cane (Caine?) and knows less about Wayne industries than we do. Kinda makes sense that he’s all beaten up given his Batmanning, but were his injuries on timer release? We left him in pretty good shape in Dark Knight.
Tom Hardy, unrecognizable in look, voice and body, is Bane. Bane is a pretty good name for a villain. Do I credit Bob Kane here? I don’t know. You can see what Nolan is doing with his presentation of anti-Batman. Bane and Bruce both have League of Shadows origins, making them equally skilled battle partners – the oft exposed upper torso of Bane is a far cry from the dark caped uniform of Batman. And what’s the one aspect of Batman left unexposed? The same one bane covers with a mechanism. I swear he doesn’t need the metal thing for any useful purpose, he just wants to look like Predator.
Both Bane and Batman are pretty one-note kind of guys, so this film we get a cat woman, Selina (Anne Hathaway). Do
we ever acknowledge her as “Catwoman”? No. Why not? You got me. Selina has a little friend (Juno Temple), who shows up, I swear, just so that Dark Knight II? III? II? wouldn’t fail the Bechdel Test. You know, Chris, can I call you Chris? There are exactly two women of note in this film — one sleeps her way to pole position on the Wayne Foundation board. The other spends the last half-hour straddling a cycle that can only be ridden in the receiving position for doggie-style sex, with plenty of camera shots from, well, the rear. Just a guess, but I don’t think feminists are gonna be singin’ your praises here, CNo.
The Dark Knight Rises is city-under-siege for the better part of two hours, while we all wait for Bruce to get his Bat-ass off the Bat-couch. There was exactly one (1) moment of levity in 164 minutes of run-time. Wanna hear it? Batman turns around and Selina disappears on him mid-conversation. He wryly concludes, “So that’s what that feels like.” Smile while you can; this one is dour even by Dark Knight standards. I respected Dark Knight Rises more than enjoyed it. At some point, the hero fan in all of us really wishes this film would stop dicking around and get to the Batman stuff.
This fellow named Nolan did fail
In creating a simplistic Bat-tale
The audience cheered
An encore was feared
“Want some more?” The SteelFrogBlog says, “Bale.”
Rated PG-13, 164 Minutes
D: Christopher Nolan
W: Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan & David S. Goyer
Genre: Overhyped, overrated and now tragedy-marred blockbuster
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Those who assumed greatness without seeing the film.
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: The impatient
Just a few points from someone a bit more familiar with the source material. First, Bane’s mask does serve a purpose. In the movie it provides him relief from debilitating pain from the injuries he gained assisting Talia/Miranda escape from the prison. In the comic the mask provides him his injections of Venom which give him his superhuman strength and healing.
Juno Temple’s character is based on Holly Robinson from Frank Miller’s Batman: Year One. She’s kind of a sidekick of Catwoman. Perhaps her inclusion is a nod to the comics, kind of like the cameo inclusion of Victor Zsasz in Batman Begins. [/nerd]
Batman, thwarter of the Invisibler, showin’ the nerd side when we all know he can bring it with the best … I hope you never stay on the couch as long as Bale did in this film.
And thank you. That was most insightful.