Now this is how you make a political ad. “MAGA?” Xenophobia? Reckless attack ads and short-sighted policy? The politics of hate? Pfft. Don’t do that. Just make your hunky kick-ass star a one-man rebuke of business as usual. This is a much better way to advertise your crappy supply-side fantasy. Well done, India.
As the film opens, exiled son Bharath Ram (Mahesh Babu) is collecting his 5th (?) post-graduate degree in England. Unfortunately, his father, the chief minister of their Indian province, has died and at long last Bharath must finally return to Andhra Pradesh to pay his respects: “Hey everybody, how’s it going? Sucks about dad dying. By Vishnu’s third arm, does traffic ever bite around here. OK, that was fun; see y’all in another twenty years.”
“Wait, Bharath. We’ve made you chief minister in your father’s place.” OK, that’s just a scary idea. This may have worked fine for monarchs of the middle ages, but political appointment was not meant to be handed down family trees. And, of course, the sculpted, learned noob takes the job and wastes no time: he ups traffic fines by a factor of ten and starts enforcing them. I like how in Indian films, politics literally comes with a song and dance. And when the protest happens, he pulls out a set of conservative mantras – First, would you rather be fined a month’s wages or DIE?! Because that’s where the current traffic problem is taking you. Second, it’s time y’all embraced FEAR and RESPONSIBILITY. These are cornerstones of ideal societies.
I’m sorry; I know this is the will of nearly half our country, but I really am not comfortable with the political mentality that wants a populace in a constant state of fear. That’s fascism. And you see exactly where it gets you – feel free to imagine President Trump and a red congress making decisions that help anybody who isn’t already rich. Go ahead and imagine it, because that’s where it will exist – only in the imagination and nowhere else. I digress.
After his traffic jam, Bharath takes on increasingly bigger problems –some of which I whole-heartedly encourage (like politician accountability) and some of which make me wonder how he’s getting away with this (“Let’s divert all government money to local concerns”). Seriously, dude has lived outside the country for literally decades, he comes back for one week and he knows everything that needs to be done and how to get it done? All with a smile, a song, a humble hint of his chest for the ladies and a big stick for the gentlemen. And all of his indulgences represent the worst of political reactionism: I know this is a movie, but geeeez, one bad day in traffic, one opponent dips into the till, one serf has a bad moment, and suddenly that dictates public policy for the entire region? You’re going entirely off only the evidence you experience personally? You don’t want to study the issue or gather information of any kind? Holy shit, you are a Republican! You may as well watch “Fox and Friends” to dictate national policy. But who would do that?
And then it gets sillier. Single denizens from rural communities find Bharath’s ear and his sympathies find a home with the poor community. I couldn’t help imagining a young and formidable Paul Ryan making stops in rural America. (I selected Paul Ryan because he of all American politicians most closely resembles Mahesh Babu, but the following scenarios absolutely apply to any number of conservative congressional monsters.) Of course, Republican policies have no tolerance for poverty or government assistance, so the American version would have to go something like this:
Old man: “Sri Ryan, sir. Thank the gods you are here. My family and I need your help … we are far too healthy; my medical bills are almost reasonable.”
Five-year-old grandson: “Yeah, gee, Mr. Ryan. I’m so healthy, I just might live forever”
Paul Ryan: “Now, don’t you worry; I’m going to solve all of this right now. First, I’m going to take all that money for health care and give it to rich people!”
Townspeople: “YAAAAAAAY!”
Children: “But what about us? We’re already healthy and resilient!”
Paul Ryan: “Oh, I have something special to address all your problems, kids. It’s my new ‘guns-for-future’ program, in which we take your collective futures and trade them all to give every child a handgun.”
Children: “YAAAAAAY!”
African-American child: “Does that apply to me, too?”
Paul Ryan: “I’m sorry, no. As a black child, your future is already screwed, so there’s no need to give you anything. Besides, guns in the hands of black people scare me.” (In the background, several small white children fire their new guns in random directions; one is grazed in the arm.)
Oh, but you had to be there for this: At some point two full hours in, Bharath’s biggest political rival shows up with armed goons in a warehouse-style showdown. And Bharath proceeds to teach the oldest lesson in the political playbook: might makes right. Asking his own 
bodyguards to step down (“for the next 10 minutes, I’m not the C.M.”), this dude who has until now shown nothing more than dance moves and nearly-bottoned shirts is suddenly Chuck Norris. Again, the American equivalent played in my head:
“Look out, Paul Ryan! It’s Nancy Pelosi and she’s brought a team of Mexican rapist-murderers with her to finish you off and then vote illegally!”
“Don’t worry; this won’t take but a moment. We won’t even need a wall when I’m finished.”
I had grudging respect for Bharat Ane Nenu despite the political idiocy. (I haven’t even mentioned yet the part where Bharath goes to a press conference, chastises a reporter by name, calling him a liar, and then insists: “I can solve all our problems myself!” That’s straight out of Trump’s greatest hits.) I had respect for this film entirely because this is the propaganda that Trump should have made. This is the man he should be, where he deftly masks all his terrible policies and prejudices behind high-minded action. As is, his awful is transparent and he gets away with it because his base and party have completely run out of integrity.
Bharat Ane Nenu was obviously made by somebody with a conservative agenda; it speaks not to current American conservatism insanity, but more the Reagan-fantasy style of conservatism: Fear, responsibility, and accountability. I could get behind the latter two if the playing field were even (which it never is). But what you’ve done here is make a godawful long political ad. And no matter how appealing the character is, the film can never rise above its political aims. As for the writing itself, well, this is a 15-minute mini-movie film in which every issue is set-up, attacked, and resolved in 15-minute segments and then moves on unimpeded by whatever took place 15-minutes ago. There’s no hint of the side-effects of reckless policy change or even mention of people hurt by decisions. I know imdb is off-the-charts “WOW!” for this movie, but if all that describes a great film, then I’m the reincarnation of the Lord Buddha.
In politics, to discover what’s best
One needs to separate from the rest
But this guy, Bharath
Has got to be all thath
We can tell he is right by his chest
Not Rated, 173 Minutes
Director: Siva Koratala
Writer: Siva Koratala
Genre: Yay, conservatives!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Paul Ryan
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Entrenched dinosaur politicians with backwards ideas and policies tied to outsider money, so, also Paul Ryan
