Michael Myers has boundary issues. Seriously, Michael. You come in. You don’t knock. You don’t say, “Excuse me.” You don’t even do that parental “clearing the voice” thing that allows an awkward situation to become a different awkward situation. You have absolutely no respect for personal space. It’s like you want to violate somebody’s privacy.
There is no wistful *sigh* when Michael Myers breaks out and returns to Haddonfield. There is no sepia-toned reminiscence with “Glory Days” playing in the background. You really can’t go home again, huh? But Michael, listed as “The Shape” here, does indeed make a comeback tour, and he looks pretty good for a guy who’s been away from the game so long. It’s worth note here that as far as Halloween is concerned, there is only this film and the John Carpenter original; none of the stupid sequels or Rob Zombie nauseating interpretations exist. That’s fine with me.
This one opens with professional blogger idiots. I don’t want to bag on my bag, but sensational is senstupidal. In order to capitalize on a morbid anniversary story, shock pop morons Dana and Aaron (Rhian Rees and Jefferson Hall) visit The Shape the very day before it is to be transferred. The scene an open prison courtyard. The inmates are individually chained to the center of randomly separated squares. The Shape has its back to us. Aaron approaches, being told not to cross the line. He nudges right to edge and pulls something out of his satchel – a mask; the original mask from the 1978 murders that he got on eSlay or whatever. Suddenly, the tension is palpable. The Shape doesn’t move, not one muscle, but every inmate in the compound suddenly behaves like a wild animal sensing a forest fire. The prison guards and the bloggers don’t sense the malevolence, but sure as Hell understand something is going on. It is the very embodiment of foreboding in movie form.
Ooooohhh, well goodness, somebody did remember how important mood is in setting the table for horror, now didn’t they? Ah, I see the “good” version of writer/director David Gordon Green has shown up for this film; he’s far more treat than trick this time around.
The key to most successful horror is geographic isolation. That proves completely irrelevant in Halloween as Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), Michael Myers’ original foil, has no intention of running, hiding, or locking herself anywhere. Laurie has “prayed every night” that Michael would break out … so that she could kill him. Seems an odd thing to pray for, but some of us are slaves to closure, it would appear. The obsession with The Shape has destroyed Laurie’s life. In her Linda Hamilton like-adulthood, she has alienated two husbands, her daughter Karen (Judy Greer), and a granddaughter (Andi Matichak). She fully intends on confronting Michael and dealing with their issues in a mature fashion … as in “for mature audiences only.”
The Hamilton comparison is even more apt when we consider The Shape. Michael is very Terminator-like in his approach. Has he come from the future to wipe out Laurie’s blood line? He wants two things: the mask and then to finish what he started (i.e. killing Laurie). Everybody else, it seems, is collateral damage. Very colorful collateral damage, to be sure. In a moment of intense creepiness, Michael actually presents a future victim with the teeth he removed from somebody not two minutes previous. There’s nightmare material and then some.
I haven’t enjoyed a pure slasher film in many a harvest moon. I won’t say this was the bomb or anything; I mean, how did Michael escape custody? That’s kind of important for these purposes, no? This Halloween, however, had a whole lotta stuff that would a have terrified a younger version of myself, starting with that courtyard moment where nothing happens and, yet, there is ample horror in the moment for three Paranormal Activity films. I wouldn’t expect this style to work again, but I will applaud the effort for now.
Get those hands right out of those pockets!
Your eyes may just leap from their sockets
We’ve had so long to burn
For Mike Myers return
I’m hoping he can reimagine “Sprockets”
Rated R, 106 Minutes
Director: David Gordon Green
Writer: David Gordon Green & Danny McBride & Jeff Fradley
Genre: Holiday blues
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Michael Myers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People who find real life horror tough enough as is
