I didn’t think you could make a film without a single plot point. I really didn’t. Oh, Jim, you naïve fool! The Japanese are wizards; they can make anything these days. Yes … but can they really make an entire 97 minute long movie where not a single thing happens? That’s gotta be hard, right? I mean, you can go down to the park, point a camera at a random tree, and I guarantee something is going to happen in the next hour-and-a-half, right? Right?
My personal award for “worst edited film of the year” is the aptly titled It’s Boring Here, Pick Me Up. They say when a person tells you who they are, you should listen. I guess that goes for movies as well. Now, to make a movie without plot points you have to have a spectacular amount of bad editing. It’s Boring Here made full use of stationary sequences (especially with regards to travel), but made sure to clip them just at the point where something might happen. The film also introduced its heroines in four different time lines so that things can happen in between film sequences; they just didn’t ever happen while you were watching. The chronological lotto game might prove a useful storytelling device in the hands of others, but here again, it seemed like scenes were spliced randomly with little connection in between. I am witnessing a true masterpiece in bad editing; it’s like appreciating the Cleveland Browns from the perspective of a football historian.
Twentysomethings I (Ai Hashimoto) and Me (Mugi Kadowaki) were friends at school. And there’s your film, folks.
You have no idea how badly I want to end this review right now. The plight of young people finding themselves and love are generally two of my favorite subjects. Presented poorly, however, you can make anything boring, apparently. I and Me (that’s cute, right? I mean, the film is Japanese but you don’t name your characters “I” and “Me” by accident) … anyway, these two sit in cars and at school and in restaurants and talk about boys. Sometimes the boys are shown. Sometimes the venue looks fun, like a coed swimming pool or an arcade or (*gasp*) in bed with somebody almost sorta nearly naked. Rest assured, nothing is going to happen in
these scenes. Nothing at all.
Wait. I take that back. In the swimming pool scene, somebody fully clothed gets pushed in, and then many others join, not unlike the “Charleston” scene of It’s a Wonderful Life. As nothing happened in the scene afterwards and the camera pulled away before we could see if anybody were really enjoying the experience, I silently wished I and Me were both watching It’s A Wonderful Life instead.
I’m not going to push this. The title made it painfully clear. 1 star is my rating for nothing film. To rate lower, the film actually has to promote something evil and not just an overwhelming sense of ennui.
Two girls have a relationship, deep
Along different timelines they leap
Stating some facts
And eschewing acts
This film is putting me to … zzzzzzzzz
Not Rated, 97 Minutes
Director: Ryuichi Hiroki
Writer: Ryuichi Hiroki
Genre: Sleeping audience
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Insomniacs
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Action hounds
