Reviews

Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase

You know, it wasn’t that long ago that Nancy Drew looked like she was auditioning for a part in “Our Town.” Alas, the Emma Roberts2007 edition of a Nancy with matching plaid skirt and hair band is a fashion dinosaur. This Nancy is all skater grunge with a bit of an attitude to boot.

The new Nancy Drew (Sophia Lillis) looks kinda like what might happen if Molly Ringwald had grown up riding a skateboard. The cool and shrewd I enjoyed in Emma’s portrayal has been abandoned in favor of subversive and a tad vindictive. It’s a little hard to get behind the Nancy who plots revenge. I haven’t read all the source data, but Nancy never really struck me as an eye-for-an-eye gal, y’know? That did not stop this Nancy from punking a bully who video-dissed her friend. So she breaks into a few shower stalls in the men’s locker room and turns a cool down into a human Easter egg dye session … what’s the harm?

You want to know where our society is at this point in history? Nancy Drew is into vengeance and our collective response is, “you go, girl!”

One of the themes in this film is our heroine adjusting to small town life after moving from Chicago. Sentenced to community service for her men’s room antics, Nancy gets to meet the “community,” isn’t that nice? She and her lone “jailer,” one of two law enforcement officials in the entire town, are then introduced to a Scooby-Doo mystery of sorts: who is haunting the old Van McWillimorganstermullens place?! Next thing you know, we got Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase, a case where half of me wanted to believe Nancy herself perpetrated the crime to get out of orange vest labor.

This Nancy Drew was not a total remodel. One fossilized excavation dusted off for this production is Linda Lavin, whom I believe has been kept in cold storage since America decided “kiss my grits” was a t-shirt worthy exclamation. Flora (Lavin) is the hauntee in question and gets to host a pajama party with Nancy and her spiteful rival o’ th’ week, Helen (Laura Wiggins).

Yes, this feels like a Scooby-Doo film. It’s almost too bad there wasn’t a “shocking” reveal. Against my better judgment, I did enjoy much of it. Vengeful or lesson-learned, new Nancy is likable and I know this material will happily sate the burgeoning Nancy Drew in your own household, which is probably not a bad thing – so long as they take the correct character development path and not the one that leads to the men’s room. In the end, however, what was truly missing in my estimation was Nancy’s acumen; I think this showpiece didn’t do enough to show her … piece (of intellect). But I encourage the effort enough to want to see how a sequel rolls.

A crime scene relying on analytic
Subverted by a plotting paralytic
They would have, with their crew
Gotten away with it, too
If it weren’t for this here meddling critic

Rated PG, 89 Minutes
Director: Katt Shea
Writer: Nina Fiore & John Herrera
Genre: Meddling kids
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Empowerment teens
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Scooby-Doo villains