We continue to live in a golden age of sharing one’s private thoughts. Under every stone, it seems, there exists a conspiracy of trolls ready to air things they discover both true and not with their megaphonic beaming tools ideally manipulated to capture and coerce the weak-minded. Sometimes the owner wants their thoughts aired, but often as not, a privacy barrier has been encroached. This is the major plot point in today’s teen romance, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.
Lara Jean is the kind of teen who’s never been a sex machine.
This bashful queen self quarantine has not the spleen to crash a scene.
And so she’s green with datebook clean ain’t it obscene her life pristine?
Now the one thing Lara (Lana Condor) has done about her history of un-redeemed romance vouchers is write letters. She hasn’t sent them, mind you. She’s just written, addressed, and stowed them away. Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a high school senior and get a love letter dated five years ago from a girl you half-heartedly kissed playing “Spin the Bottle?” Well, now you don’t have to guess because that’s exactly what happens. Losing track of her love stack, Lana discovers at school that –to her horror- all the letters have been sent, including the one to her older sister’s freshly-dumped ex, Josh (Israel Broussard).
Ah, but Josh isn’t the story quite yet. First, there’s the Peter issue. Peter (Noah Centineo, who reminds me of a young Mark Ruffalo) is the “Spin the Bottle” guy. He’s understandably confused after receiving a letter written by 7th Grade Lara and confronts Lara about it. She kisses him to throw off Josh; he kisses her back to throw off his own ex, Mean Girl Gen (Emilija Baranac). She how that works? They both want somebody else, so they kiss each other to get it. Ah, teens.
After a series of explanations, Peter and Lara make a completely stupid but -given circumstance and age- entirely understandable pact: they draw up a contract to date one another, playing up the virtues of their partner, both in an effort to elicit jealousy from somebody they’d rather be dating. And the contract is adorable; it includes commitments of demonstrable PDAs and watching Fight Club and Sixteen Candles together.
Peter: “Long Duck Dong?” Isn’t that racist?
Lara: Completely. I love this film anyway.
The development of this relationship will come as a surprise only to those who have never seen a romance before. I will repeat to my dying day that the key to romance is wanting to be in love with the people falling in love on screen. For all the silly premise, I really enjoyed both leads – I liked the Lara who explored not being a wallflower and I liked the Peter who wasn’t a dick. I know that’s an awfully low bar, but as high school guys go … find one who isn’t a dick. Peter wasn’t a dick; in fact, the way he looks and act, he would never have any problem acquiring date of choice.
To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is neither hard-hitting nor terribly memorable, but it was genuinely cute. I have no problem believing that it’s been followed by, now, two sequels. I liked the first enough to consider watching another…which is probably the highest praise I can deliver for a film of this ilk.
♪To All the Boys I’ve “Loved” Before
Whose names made grand binder décor
I’m glad I wrote them down
My sorrows I will drown
Nostalgic for age twelve once more♫
Rated TV-14, 99 Minutes
Director: Susan Johnson
Writer: Sofia Alvarez
Genre: “Don’t give up, girl!”
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Wallflowers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Mean girls
♪ Parody Inspired by “To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before”
