Reviews

Hubie Halloween

Adam Sandler is less an actor than some sort of TV entertainment product. No single Adam Sandler character exists in real life, which already gives the man a sitcom feel. Add to that his sweeps week theme episodes include sports (Happy Gilmore, The Waterboy), the holidays (Eight Crazy Nights), and now –not unlike “The Simpsons,” Adam even has a series of Halloween episodes. Oh, and look at who showed up for this one: Kevin James, Steve Buscemi, Rob Schneider, Maya Rudolph, Tim Meadows.

Gee, where were David Spade and Chris Rock? They clearly weren’t busy; did they not get paged? I mean, they must live somewhere within the Sandler compound. Were they sick that day?

I’m not sure which exact stock character Adam is drawing from here; it’s his standard over-officious townie idiot shy mama’s boy who is meek and mumbles, but has a good heart – I think I’ve seen this guy about seventeen times already. The difference here is this one made me laugh on occasion. It’s Halloween in Salem, so Hubie (Sandler), the self-proclaimed Halloween safety monitor is preparing for his day. As he bikes into town, the kids throw things at him. This is a running gag I actually found amusing – there are easily a half dozen scenes in Hubie Halloween in which random people throw things at Hubie, and –as one might guess- he’s gotten pretty good at dodging objects from years of practice.

What does smack his attention is Violet Valentine (Julie Bowen), the sweetheart he’s been afraid to engage conversationally for several decades. As she catches his eye in the opening moments, Hubie’s brain turns off and he plows his bike into a car parked in front of a store with an animated seasonal display. When Violet does a double take, the camera finds Hubie doing a perfect robot alongside a mechanical Frankenstein as if he, too, is just another mannequin window dressing. I noted this moment, because it was the first time Adam Sandler had made me laugh out loud in OVER A DECADE. I wish I were kidding.

Hubie lives in Salem, and it’s arguable that Salem is the Halloween capital of the world, so when an escapee from the state mental home shows up, as does a creepy werewolf-ish new neighbor, we can hardly be surprised. Nor are we surprised when a series of Hubie’s tormentors start disappearing.

This has all the makings of a mediocre horror film, but it is genuinely more of a mediocre comedy and mediocre romance. Heck, if Adam Sandler wanted to be in a genuine horror film, he could have made Big Daddy II.

The other running gag in this film is Hubie’s all-purpose thermos, which contains soup, but acts like Batman’s utility belt. This is good stuff; hence, I was surprised to see it show up in a Sandler film.

I really, really wanted to approve of Hubie Halloween. It’s been so long since Adam Sandler made me laugh, I mean really laugh, that I wanted to give him credit for finding the funny, if only sporadically. There are genuine laughs in this film. I do not deny them. Then again, there is also the standard gang of Sandler-homies doing fuckall on screen. Aside from a police station conversation between Schneider and Buscemi, I needed none of that. And I’ve seen enough of meek Adam, his mumble grace, and unnatural ability to attract the hottest female on the screen to last several lifetimes. If you’re not yet sick of that guy, do enjoy Hubie Halloween with my blessing.

♪I was couching a potato late one night
When Netflix summoned an eerie sight
Another Sandler film before my eyes
And it stunk, to none’s surprise

It was just trash, Happy Mad’son trash
That Sandler trash, it made my teeth gnash
That Gilmore trash, I couldn’t wait to bash
That Sandler trash, I switched to Prime in a flash♫

Rated PG-13, 102 Minutes
Director: Steven Brill
Writer: Tim Herlihy, Adam Sandler
Genre: Horror?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Adam Sandler believers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: If you weren’t sold on Adam Sandler before, this will do nothing for you

♪ Parody Inspired by “Monster Mash”