This guy is living a Ringo Starr song. I bet years ago, Craig Foster was listening to Abbey Road and said to himself, “I could live in an Octopus’s Garden. No, seriously. I could totally live in an Octopus’s Garden.” He never questioned “Why?” He only questioned “How?” And one day, he came up with the answer: become independently wealthy, buy a house next to a kelp forest, and ignore my family for a year or more. *Poof* Octopus’s Garden.
My Octopus Teacher is a documentary about one man, one octopus, and one year. And in that time, we learn all sorts of things, but mostly we learn that our species has badly underestimated octopuses.
You will believe a man can fall in love with an octopus. In fact, you might believe it so much, you could even wonder if the man’s relationship with the octopus was on the level. I apologize; sometimes the cynic in me comes out to play far too frequently. But –seriously- Craig Foster spends a lot of freaking time with this octopus. He spends so much time that I was actually offended on behalf of the octopus when (relatively small) sharks show up and Craig’s like, “get out the camera!” If I were the octopus, I’d be all: “Dude! I thought we were friends; did you have my back or what?” Perhaps Craig was confused because it’s impossible to locate the “back” of an octopus.
This particular forest lies quietly off the coast of South Africa. The location is unimportant other than it had to be a place where Craig could swim year round with an underwater camera crew. Winters make for cold oceans around the cape, but apparently you get used to it when you’re friends with a mollusk.
And there’s no way to describe this relationship other than pure friendship. Despite coming from different walks of life…well, one walks, the other walks and walks and walks and walks. Despite one being a primate mammal with a life span of decades and the other an invertebrate cephalopod with a life span of about a year, these two were as buddy-buddy as a cop movie. (Well, except when the octopus is in trouble and then it’s “Stand back! Science!” Craig, listen, you’ve already screwed with the experiment, now take a spear and make sure that shark doesn’t return.
I’m being glib, perhaps only because I didn’t know what to expect from this film. There seems little question by the end of the movie that 1) the octopus cared in some 
capacity for the human who visited her every day and 2) octopuses have some impressive intelligence, like problem-solving intelligence. The film claimed at least cat level, but that’s selling the cephalopod shy (he sells cephalopods shy by the sea shore). My cat has been alive 18 years; it still doesn’t understand “NO!” This octopus had about eight different ruses to get rid of sharks.
If you’re not fascinated with the relationship between man and squishy beast, you might just love the camerawork; I’m not sure how the cameras were constantly able to find the octopus, let alone find her hiding out, escaping danger, and even playing (!) with her reef friends. Geez, it’s a Pixar movie in real life. That is to say playing with her reef friends and her human. As odd as it is, when these tentative tentacles tantalize, there is an undeniable connection between man and octopus. See, now I’m worried that this film is going to be followed by a sequel entitled “My Octopus Lover.”
Cinematically, I think we’ve always had a strong relationship with mollusks, no? Did we not enjoy the snails in Turbo? I’m pretty sure we loved The Squid, even if we didn’t love The Whale. And like there’s a crustacean who attracted James Bond, huh? Fat chance; he’d never fall for Lobsterpussy. I’m not sold on either the purity of relationship or the science in this film, but you will believe a man can fall in love with an octopus.
♪I’d like to help
Under the kelp
In an octopus’ recess
Near a glade
She’d swim across
For cameras
In a octopus’ spotlight
With a fade
We you be so happy she and me
Cut the action
This time, just us two
I’d like a fling
From fall to spring
With this octopus that I’ve named
Marmalade♫
Not Rated, 85 Minutes
Director: Pippa Ehrlich, James Reed
Writer: Pippa Ehrlich, James Reed
Genre: Man’s best (boneless) friend
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Arachnids, patiently waiting their turn to be appreciated
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Jealous dogs, family members
♪ Parody Inspired by “Octopus’s Garden”
