You need a witch of the west … and you’re looking in high school?! Did you try looking, I dunno, in the 1930s, maybe? They had a pretty spectacular witch of the west back then. In fact, if I may don a Boston accent for a moment, that was one totally wicked witch of the west. Yeah, the awkward coeds of Misogyny High are looking for a fourth to round out either their burgeoning coven or their after school Bridge Club. Could go either way.
Actually, it’s pretty clear from the opening (if not the title) that Frankie, Tabby, and Lourdes (Gideon Adlon, Lovie Simone, and Zoey Luna) are not exactly Macbeth material quite yet. These wannbe Hermiones just can’t get their charms to be lucky without a fourth. Aw.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “gosh, I hope they pull this off…I would hate to tarnish the reputation of a franchise that gave us Fairuza Balk.”
Oh, and -conveniently- here comes the fourth: a classic mousy, unassuming transfer, Lily (Cailee Spaeny). I’m trying to be objective here, but it’s hard not describing Lily’s opening day school tragedy in terms that won’t make one cringe. She has a public –shall we say- personal blood flow problem that resembles the elevator scene in The Shining. The film didn’t have to go that far; all the scene had to do was separate Lily from the student body (check) and make her a sympathetic figure with the coven (check). The Niagara Falls stuff is unnecessary.
Now one of the things the coven does when it gets rolling is turn a beefy misogynist (Nicholas Galitzine) into a feminist. While I whole-heartedly applaud this and find it the most endearing part of the film, I cannot help wondering how the bully turns into the gay best friend without the world of education that comes with it. Just because
you magically turn empathetic doesn’t mean you also gain a ton of knowledge to go with your new persona, does it? Geez, Jim, it’s a witch movie. Don’t question magic; the producers certainly didn’t.
Truth is, The Craft: Legacy really had me for a while. I was sympathetic with Lily; I wanted she and her friends to find power and help themselves out. Where it lost me was somewhere between the need to have an antagonist, because you gotta, right, right? And the lesson to be learned. In The Craft, the young witches learned they were meddling with powers they really didn’t understand and the film comes across as a metaphor for drug abuse and the consequences thereof. In The Craft: Legacy, we see a similar drug abuse theme, but the lesson these women take from it is “do more drugs, and harder, together.” That’s a shitty message.
A teenager with a magical aura
Wanted to be a 21st C Endora
But their spell got distorted
And instead was transported
To the make-up counter at Sephora
Rated PG-13, 97 Minutes
Director: Zoe Lister-Jones
Writers: Zoe Lister-Jones
Genre: Coven-ette
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Future witches
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Bullies
