Some films will capture your attention merely by highlighting things you never knew existed, like wizard schools, transformers, and Independence Day. Today is one such experience. As a native to snow-challenged land, I had no idea they made rivers into roads. Oh, I know rivers freeze over in certain climates so the kids can play hockey until somebody falls in. Thick enough ice to handle a fully-loaded semi? That takes a bit more imagination than I first summoned.
Now I know what you’re thinking: “Didn’t Liam Neeson just do this? Isn’t this kind of derivative?” Yes, it is derivative, but not in the way you think. Yeah, the guy just made Cold Pursuit, and it looks like the producers said, “Say, Liam, while you’re here and it’s still cold, how about another film?” And that may well have happened, but The Ice Road is not at all like Cold Pursuit; it’s more like Road Warrior meets The 33.
In northern Manitoba, there are a bunch of trapped back bacon miners, eh. The company lacks the boring tool able to reach them after the collapse of the mine, so it has to be brought up from Winnipeg. And three semi drivers are selected, Mike (Neeson), Jim (Laurence Fishburne), and Tantoo (Amber Midthunder – a genuine Native American, woo). Why three? Redundancy, in case up to two trucks fall under the ice road. Well, the film just hinted at us right there, didn’t it?
It’s bad enough that 65,000 lbs. of truck x 3 is traversing a road that doesn’t exist in summer months. There’s also the part that it’s April and the planet (which, at last look, includes Canada) is a lot warmer than it was a decade ago. And, guess what? There are also villains, too. Some people, seriously, want the miners to die. I’m sorry, but you lose a star right there. Nobody wants trapped miners to die, even evil corporate bullies. Even Trump voters don’t want that … I think.
In this film, Liam is just a “normal” guy. He isn’t a vet with a “special skill set” or a guy with a huge chip and some aggressive tools. In The Ice Road, Liam is just a truck driver and writer/director Jonathan Hensleigh has chosen to accessorize him with a mentally challenged brother, Gurty (Marcus Thomas). Gurty is not just handicapped with a terrible name; he has some intense PTSD following armed
conflicts in IraqSyriaAfghanistanKoreaGrenadaLoompaland. Basically, Liam is an average truck-driving Joe with bills to pay and pet brother to care for. Honestly, I like this Liam a little better than the standard package. He’s more relatable even if he can’t dismember you with his left thumb.
Liam’s relatability makes it sadder when the film introduces both a racism storyline and a betrayal storyline. Honestly? I thought the picture worked as a straight adventure—big trucks, icy roads, trapped men to save. When it introduced several subplots, the film stopped working. And that’s essentially where The Ice Road landed … breaking through the soft ice and floating downwards to a watery grave of films that tried to do too much.
In northern climes of sub-zero degrees
“Waterways” can make travel a breeze
But watch when it melts
Hang on to your pelts
And most of all see the forest for the freeze
Rated PG-13, 109 Minutes
Director: Jonathan Hensleigh
Writer: Jonathan Hensleigh
Genre: The continuing adventures of Liam against the world
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Dunno, a trapped coal miner maybe?
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Evil corporate executives
