Hear me out. To defeat a Godzilla-sized starfish menace, you don’t need The Suicide Squad; what you need is a tide pool with a “DO NOT TOUCH” sign and a giant seven-year-old boy. I guarantee that starfish would be dead within ten minutes.
For those who imagine that a film can only get so silly, I present the insane glee of The Suicide Squad. I honestly don’t know where to begin. The film killed off Pete Davidson before the title credit, which –by itself- is awesome. It also introduced a human-sized semi-intelligent Weasel … and then proceeded to kill that off before we even got to know its name. Do you know how much confidence you have to have in the material to lose both Pete Davidson and a large anthropomorphic Weasel in the first five minutes? I don’t know, either, but I didn’t actually miss them which should tell you how entertaining this film is.
A somewhat estranged cousin of its 2016 namesake trainwreck, The Suicide Squad -2021- brought all the gore, but also toted around the fun as well for good measure. (Check it out, DC found the fun. No, really!) Several characters remain from the 2016 version and yet the film -thankfully- feels new because Chief Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) and Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) are the only ones who make a big impression. I can’t say I liked any of the others from 2016. The premise
is darn near identical: the government has asked a team of dangerous super convicts to go on a deadly combat mission; should they succeed, their sentences are reduced. I don’t remember what the mission was in 2016, but I guarantee it didn’t end with a Godzilla-sized starfish. Oh don’t worry; I’m not really giving anything away. The fun here is in the moments, so long as you can stand the violence. Admittedly, the latter might be a tough ask. There is a ton of blood in this film.
Not that it’s terribly important in a film like this, but the plot is as follows – two groups of Suicide Squatters touchdown DDay style on a tropical beach. Group A –which includes not Davidson, the Weasel, but Nathan Fillion as The Detachable Kid, Michael Rooker as Savant and Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang, is immediately cut to shreds. Oh, it’s funny seeing that many name actors buy it so quickly. I wish I were a vaguely recognizable screen actor just so I could get killed in films like this just for the reaction: “I laughed my ass off when Frog bought it thirty seconds in!” This is truly cashing in on your celebrity.
Group B was unopposed, but had their own leadership pissing contest problems between sharpshooters Peacemaker (John Cena) and Bloodsport (Idris Elba). Production-wise, there’s been a whole lotta mediocrity between those two guys – I will never claim Cena it likely to garner any hardware, but I’m quite sure Elba could win an Oscar with a better agent. This film pads both their résumés nicely. Early on, the two wreck an entire village proving who is the better assassin only to realize the villagers were on the good side. Oh well. The goal is to infiltrate a militaristic banana republic
and destroy everything along the way, so, hey, whatchagonnado? Not like they’re getting paid.
Geez, I haven’t even mentioned the Polka Dot Man (David Dastmalchian) or Sylvester Stallone’s best role in over a decade as King Shark, a small brained human-shark hybrid. Tell me you didn’t laugh every time he said something. This feels like the film Mystery Men wanted to grow up to become … or, better yet, the film Suicide Squad wanted to grow up to become.
The Suicide Squad is one of those rare films you can’t wait to share with people; you can’t wait for everybody in your circle to have common knowledge of the action and characters and dialogue so we all can share in the joke. I don’t know how many “common knowledge” films the world invents every year, but it’s fewer than ten and often fewer than five. I think I’d argue that 2020 didn’t have a single one – but that’s a different essay. The Suicide Squad is one of them for 2021.
Caged supers into combat immersion
Despite their very mortal aspersion
Suicide?! NOT
You guys don’t know squat
Real death is the twenty-sixteen version
Rated R, 132 Minutes
Director: James Gunn
Writer: James Gunn
Genre: Jokes about exploding heads
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who like jokes about exploding heads
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Saner people
