Reviews

Cinderella

I never much cared for the standard Cinderella tale and I will tell you why: it should be feminist and it is 100% not. On the former point, all the key roles in Cinderella are female: Cinderella, her evil step-mother, her step-sisters, her fairy godmother … all standard classic female roles. The only male consistent to the canon is Prince MacGuffin, and I can count on exactly one hand the number of times his POV mattered in the Cinderella story.

So this traditional frolic into girl-dom should be a feminist endeavor and yet, is it? Is it ever?  Not even close. The pervasive message seems to be consistent with Snow White’s “Someday My Prince Will Come.” Holding out for “Savior Man” is a crappy message for 1937 let alone 2021. I mean, you have Cinderella forever miserable and overworked and your message is, “Just wait! Your luck will turn!” Lemme tell ya—Honestly? Dreams do not happen for people who stew in their own misery; luck happens to:  1) people with great networks of family/friends, 2) people who take lots and lots of chances, or 3) people who are just plain lucky. People who stew in their own misery are societally likeliest to be sold on false truths. The miserable don’t attract princes, they attract grifters.

So how exciting is it to see an actual feminist Cinderella? I haven’t found one this compelling since Ever After. That must be a dozen Cinderellas ago. Oh, it still has problems, but the Camila Cabello Cinderella did two things exceptionally well – it gave into the music and it let this feminist tale be feminist. Also, I gotta say, I will always enjoy a film in which two characters say, “ewww” and “ick” while a third responds, “I’m into it” with a grin. How can that not make you smile?

Cinderella (Cabello) is miserable and overworked as usual, but she sings her way out of her troubles and designs dresses on the side. Stepmom (Idina Menzel – or Adele Dezeem as John Travolta might tell it) also sings her way through the film. It’s nice having professionals sail through standards like “Am I Wrong?” “Gotta Be” and “Material Girl.” If I have any quibble with this soundtrack it’s that we already have a Cinderella film with “Somebody to Love” (Ella Enchanted). Is there no other song in the history of music to demonstrate heartsickness?

In this version, the Prince (Nicholas Galatzine) has a sister (Tallulah Grieve) who is much better suited for the throne than he. The film sees its job as convincing their parents (Pierce Brosnan and Minnie Driver) that Gwen (Grieve) is better suited to rule than Robert (Galitzine). The film also gave us a sideshot at Pierce Brosnan’s terrible voice – why that’s something I’ve been waiting for since Mamma Mia!

By now, Cinderella is a fairly tired tale. It’s gotten a lot of wear out of telling seven-year-old girls that their only future is hoping some rando will sweep them away and care for them forever. But this is one is a bit different – it’s kind of adorable and it kind of let’s Ella be Ella, a woman who has a POV that has nothing to do with wanting to hitch a ride on a gravy train. I’m not sure this is my favorite telling of the tale, but it’s one of the few I have truly enjoyed.

♪Can any critic find me … a movie to pan

Ooh, each evening I slouch down and die a little
Don’t want to stand on my feet
Take a sightsee of Ruku and cry
Netflix, what are you doing to me?
I’ve spent all my free time reviewing you
But your offering s are always so bland!
Amazon! Hulu! Starz! AppleTV!
Can any critic find me … some movie to pan? ♫

Rated PG, 113 Minutes
Director: Kay Cannon
Writer: Kay Cannon
Genre: By now, Cinderella is its own genre
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Feminists, music lovers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People tired of the Cinderella shtick

♪ Parody Inspired by “Somebody to Love”

Leave a Reply