Reviews

Malignant

Are you supposed to laugh when the monster is revealed? I’m going to go out on a limb and say that doesn’t describe the world’s greatest horror movies. I suppose congratulations are in order, Malignant, you certainly got my attention. Of course, when you got my attention, my initial reaction was laughing out loud followed by, “Oh, they’re serious. And this is how they’re going to play it, huh? Well, that bites.”

James Wan has filmed some fantastic horror in the past, but Malignant left me wondering how sheltered he has been during the pandemic. Not only did Act III of this film not work, it left me with many, many questions, none of which lead back to a conclusion that this was a good film.

And I can’t state them, because if I do, I spoil the only reason to see the film.

Malignant is one of those horror films with an intro years in the past; there, we learn that there’s this ghostly, alien-like entity named Gabriel and doctors treat Gabriel in a psych ward. Gabriel has certain powers, but gets cornered before he can do too much more damage. The head doc and ghostly entity exchange creepy threats … cuz that’s the best way to handle aliens in a psych ward. Oh, and Gabriel speaks through the radio. Cool.

Decades later, Madison (Annabelle Wallis) has a crappy marriage. She’s pregnant, which means her husband should take a little more caution when slamming her head into the wall. Luckily for all of us, we find this guy dead by the morning. Madison loses the baby and then starts getting visions of the doctors we see in the opening of the film being murdered. And gosh, those visions are spot on truth. What’s going on here? And who is Gabriel? Well, the fun is just getting started, and by “fun” I mean something you might find scary, and I guess and by “started” I mean “this film is going to dick around with red herrings for over an hour before it explains what’s going on.”

And when it does explain what’s going on … there will be a combination of stunned laughter followed by several cringes immediately afterwards followed by, “That doesn’t make any sense” and “Wow, Seattle Cops shoot worse than Stormtroopers.”

This is a shame. James Wan may still be the best in the horror biz. He certainly knows how to make you jump, cringe, and hide your eyes behind your hands. But Malignant took a little too long to develop and when it did, I was stunned silly by the payoff. Take your mulligan, Mr. Wan and try again.

A supernatural phenomena full of harasses
Has left an impression that overtly surpasses
If the visions make you upset
And leave you in a cold sweat
Have you tried, I dunno, maybe, wearing glasses?

Rated R, 111 Minutes
Director: James Wan
Writer: James Wan, Ingrid Bisu, Akela Cooper
Genre: WTF?!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who can find some semblance of truth in this horror
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The rest of us