Reviews

Major Grom: Plague Doctor (Майор Гром: Чумной Доктор)

Russian film baffles me. You made a classic in 1925 and decided, hence, you’re done? I know you’ve seen the technological advances in film. But waiting for the art to advance as the special effects have is going to take more time. I can tell specifically from the vigilante justice popcorn adventure Major Grom: Plague Doctor, a film in which a Russian production company made the conscious decision to create their own Bruce Willis/Batman/Arnold Schwarzenegger vigilante supercop hero and did so by putting a Freddie Mercury moustache and a 40s newsboy cap on the guy from The Machinist. ‘

Hey Russian folks … did you see The Machinist? You know he wasn’t a hero, right? And the look of the character was supposed to be the clue.

Oh well, komrade, I’m just gonna have to tell you what’s what about your very well produced yet very oddly structured film.

First of all, the title is wrong. Major Grom (Tikhon Zhiznevskiy) is the good guy; his nemesis is the Plague Doctor. This is like titling a film Batman: The Riddler. Sometimes this happens, of course, and those sometimes it shouldn’t, either. One of the BIG problems with this film is that both Grom and Plague Doctor seem to be on the same side of vigilantism. The Plague Doctor is just a little more extreme at it. But it is pretty clear that Major Grom is no fan of over-officious law; he gladly breaks legs, tortures villains, and sides with pretty criminals in pursuit of the greater good. And, guess what? That’s the Plague Doctor’s M.O. The Plague Doctor is not The Joker or The Penguin crippling societies for the sake of chaos or personal wealth; the Plague Doctor attacks white collar criminals, slumlords, tax cheats, people who have abused power. Dudes, I’m not even sure you’re enemies.

We meet Grom as he’s chasing down an armored car on foot. Apparently that can be done in Moscow. One likable filmmaking facet is Grom will consider several failed scenarios before arriving at the correct one. In this case, the correct one involves side-stepping direct hand-to-hand confrontation and hijacking a power vehicle to trash the armored car. Sure, when Grom t-bones the thing he isn’t heading in the direction where he ends up, but why quibble? Early on, we’ve established Grom as the taxpayer-be-damned-results-destructoman of the Moscow police … in a Freddie Mercury moustache and a 1940s newsboy cap.

You better be one Hell of a badass to pull off that look with those actions. “Badass” might not translate as well as you’d like, da?

This goes on until an actual villain shows up – A dude who dresses as a medieval Plague Doctor, has an eerie sixth sense about him and spouts fire, which is kinda cool. The Plague Doctor is out to punish rich assholes and while Major Grom immediately establishes himself as opposition, I immediately couldn’t help wondering if they shouldn’t be on the same side; their political/philosophical differences are minimal at best.

Major Grom: Plague Doctor is a testimony to what happens when you don’t believe in an action hero; in my head, I just kept repeating: “This is your hero? This guy is your Indiana Jones, your Sylvester Stallone, or -heck- even your Steven Seagal? Russia is a BIG country; you can do better than this. It took a radical plot twist ninety minutes in just to jolt me back into active mode. I make a lot of fun of American films and clichés and overproduction, but –wow-I would love to see what an American film company would do with this screenplay. I’m 100% positive this film could be done better.

Russia’s Major Grom knows right from wrong
Yet his lure to vigilantism is strong
With his throwback style
It might take a while
To get his own David Bowie song

Rated TV-14, 136 Minutes
Director: Oleg Troflim
Writer: Vladimir Besedin, Evgenty Eronin, Artyom Gabrelyanov
Genre: Guess who isn’t quite up to vigilante genius yet?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Grommits
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Billionaires

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