Would you want a perfect partner? A lot of people would respond with an emphatic, “YES!” until they realize what it entails. Could you be constantly indulged, your ego perpetually massaged? Of course you want someone who is attentive, caring, gentle, giving, nurturing, bread-winning, smart, strong, polite, etc. But do you really want all of those things ALL OF THE TIME? Do you want a partner who never puts their interests first? That’s not a partner; that’s a slave. To want that I think you have to be a Grade A narcissist – like Trump-level narcissist. Nobody with an ounce of empathy could stand indulgence 24/7.
And that’s where we are with today’s adorable German import, I’m Your Man. Dr. Alma Felser (Maren Eggert) doesn’t even want a husband. We’re not sure why the anthropologist has agreed to be in this study. All we know is she’s acquiring a robot husband…and a damn good one. He’s programmed to be everything she wants. She meets him at a “bar” where the patrons are all holograms; she immediately complains that his flirting sucks. One fine tune later, she brings home Tom (Dan Stevens).
Alma is immediately put off – Tom corrects her driving for safety and cleans up her apartment. These feel like sleights instead of aids. This isn’t what she wants in a husband. And why does Tom speak German with an English accent? “You are attracted to foreign men, but not too exotic. That’s English.” It’s pretty funny. Tom’s precision is unnerving, but darn useful. Without a tape measure or a visual, he knows that a large piece of wall art will fit in the back of a colleague’s car.
As an audience, we are quick to warm to Tom and slow to warm to Alma, who seems mildly disappointed as a rule. We wonder when she’s going to adjust to Tom, who exists solely to improve her life and question 
nothing. Isn’t that what you want in a spouse? Slowly, we come around to Alma’s POV – you can’t just make a life a better *poof* by adding a slave. Willingness is strong part of happiness; it has to be what you want when you want it – having the one without the other is a recipe for exactly the opposite, logic be damned.
I’m Your Man is both amusing and curious. While Maren Eggert comes off as mostly frustrated, Dan Stevens plays robotman very Damian Lewis-ish. There’s almost a birdlike questioning when “he” “gets something wrong.” He promises to be better. But he is programmed to be gentlemanly, funny, and heroic, and we see all three numerous times. These beg questions like: “What’s the problem?” and “Isn’t Tom everything you want?” Ah, but there’s the issue — what exactly do you want out of marriage? Unquestioning support? The ability to sit on your ass eating truffles all day? That would drive me crazy; I know exactly where Alma is coming from. I’m Your Man also asks: “Is it better to live alone?” The answer to that varies from person to person … but I guarantee you’re not doing anybody a favor when you indulge a narcissist, which is exactly what pleasurebots are built for. I’m Your Man is thoughtful, enjoyable, and even a touch romantic. This film is a real gem and I wish you all would see it. But I’d never enforce such a wish even if I could.
Cyberspouse is a role without honor
Some may think a robot hubby’s a yawner
But it doesn’t have to be
A lifetime of ennui
Just be wary if “he” asks for Sarah Connor
Rated R, 108 Minutes
Director: Maria Schrader
Writer: Jan Schomburg,
Genre: Male order
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who understand one-sided marriages don’t work
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Automatonophobes
