Reviews

Terrifier

Rating this film is pointless. I’m going to do it anyway because that’s what goes on here, but there really isn’t a point to rating a film this niche … or even reviewing it for that matter. Let me put it this way: rating Terrifier as a movie is the equivalent of rating an orgy as entertainment. I mean, sure, you could, but it kinda misses the point … by a lot.

Funny that the subject of this film is named “Art,” because art is just about the very last thing this film suggests. Art (David Howard Thornton) is a clown. A mute clown. Art might be a sad clown or a happy clown or a metaphor for the human condition, but none of that comes through. What comes through loud and clear is that Art is a sadistic homicidal maniac. Art kills for the pleasure of killing, and when he’s done, he kills some more.

We can tell Art is evil from looks alone. No clown goes out with black lips and blood-red teeth cuz they’re in it for laughs. Still, the costume suggests a certain persona; hence, we can almost forgive the first set of victims. After all, nobody expects to get a knife in the eye, even by an evil clown on Halloween night.

Tara (Jenna Kanell) and Dawn (Catherine Corcoran) are having a slutty Halloween. Hey, they’re big kids; why not? They catch Art’s attention, and he follows them to a pizzeria where Tara is decidedly not into Art’s attention while a motivated Dawn can’t get the time of day from him. The women are still intact when they depart, but Art isn’t done with either by a long shot … first, however, he has to kill the dudes working the oven. That seems kind of a dick move; maybe Art doesn’t like pizza, but did he have to spoil it for the rest of us?

The murders are grizzly and they’re only going to get worse. Terrifier is gruesome, exploitive, misogynistic, ugly, cheap, and cringeworthy. However, one cannot help but notice how little the film cares about any of that. It isn’t made for me; it’s made for people who love gruesome, exploitive, misogynistic, ugly, cheap, and cringeworthy moments in slasher films. And there are some choice scenes here … like when Art just starts wearing somebody else’s breasts for kicks. That seems childish and wrong to me … do I go around wearing somebody else’s dick? I don’t think so. But who can deny the appeal?

And, gee, as someone who does DIY projects around the house, I’m really impressed with Art’s skill – give me a rusty hacksaw and I will have trouble with a sapling, but Art can tear through live flesh and bone with, apparently, no problem. Good for you, man.

Yeah, that’s the kind of film this is. Terrifier is six years old as of this writing, so if you were the intended audience, odds are you already know about it. For the rest of us … well … this film exists. Yup. It sure does. So, I guess I’m rating it two stars because even though the film is disgusting and awful, I respect that it’s a premise achiever; it knows well exactly the audience it caters to and they will be satisfied.

There once was a slasher named Art
Who dressed as a clown, so smart
For his appearance said “whim”
Yet his objective so grim
He will literally tear you apart

Unrated [But about as R as it gets], 85 Minutes
Director: Damien Leone
Writer: Damien Leone
Genre: Sick!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Hardcore slasher fans
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Anyone who has ever uttered the words, “I can’t even…”

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