I’m not sure why I have to mention this. I mean, I shouldn’t; it’s plain common sense, but just in case you buy into the plot of Oh, Hi! here’s a good tip: If you are doing bondage stuff with your partner, please wait until you’re untied to piss them off. This also goes for any number of far-fetched scenarios, like if you take a field trip to a jail, for instance, or, I dunno, maybe if you’re ever playing with the stocks at historic Williamsburg.
The idea of sexual bondage is certainly a titillating one. Giggle. Unfortunately, the best use of such in mainstream film has been the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, which has turned many of us off the subject out of pure stupidity. Maybe now that we’ve had some distance from Dakota the demeaned damsel, we can explore again what fun it is to enjoy dominant and submissive roles in sexual congress.
Oh, you know, not, as it turns out.
This is the story of Iria (co-writer Molly Gordon) and Isaac (Logan Lerman, everybody’s second favorite Percy Jackson -that is until a third comes along). These two rented an air bnb in the country where they found interactive sexual toys. Isn’t it fun when you find out farmers are into freaky shit? Personally, I am not one for using the bondage crap they find. Not because of sexual inhibition, but entire because *you don’t know where that’s been, dudes*.
Obviously, that’s just me. Iris and Isaac go for it. And in the morning, Isaac is still chained to the bed. This is when he confesses, foolishly, to Iris that he’s just having fun; the four months they’ve been together does not a serious relationship make. Oooooooo. Bad move, Romeo.
Iris leaves him tied up and, honestly, I can’t blame here. We’ve seen ten minutes of this relationship and these two seemed pretty serious.
Now, the second Isaac doesn’t want to be tied up anymore and Iris refuses to do anything about it? I’m pretty sure that’s a crime. Kidnapping is a huge
theme for the rest of this film.
This, of course, is all tongue-in cheek. After unsuccessfully googling: “How to get a guy to realize he wants to be with you,” Iris eventually invites friends over to share the dilemma and the inevitable prison time. I have no idea how this works, but I imagine the longer Isaac is kidnapped, the worse the culpability gets. Time for naked witchcraft? Well, sure, there’s always time for naked witchcraft, amIright?
“Oh, Hi!” is the very first line of a film that straddles the line between maturity and something far beneath maturity. Is it a good film? Not really, but I thought there was enough here to discuss and enjoy and perhaps spark your own fun that I recommend it, albeit very mildly. Don’t expect fireworks; do expect conversations. Still, any film that can get a couple to talk about sex and smile while they’re doing it? Probably not a terrible film.
Interested in making couplehood gains
Two youngsters break out the chains
It’s all good and fun
Until the rising of the sun
At which point, it’s clear both lack for brains
Rated R, 95 Minutes
Director: Sophie Brooks
Writer: Sophie Brooks, Molly Gordon
Genre: Young love
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Relationship gurus
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Wallflowers
