Every Frankenstein needs an Igor, amIright? Do we ever feel for Igor? Could we ever feel for Igor? Here’s a film that is betting we could. Stitch Head is a Frankensteinian creation, in turn dooming the film Stitch Head among the Frankenstein genre, HOWEVER, this film is much more about absentee parenting than playing God. Odd take, right? It’s like making Dracula about echolocation or The Mummy about proper first aid technique.
The titular Stitch Head (voice of Asa Butterfield) was born a monster. A very docile monster built with an obvious sense of melancholy, but also with a strange-yet-keen sense of responsibility. The Professor (Rob Brydon) who owns Castle Grotteskew loves the thrill of creation … and that’s it. The Prof delights in creating unnatural monster after unnatural monster after unnatural monster, yet has no use for them once born. TBH, he reminds me of ultra-Catholic parents. The eldest of The Professor’s creations, Stitch Head, a normal-ish boy with a pieced-together Charlie Brown head, has taken it upon himself to orient and lead his newborn siblings through their transition. He’s even made a “Welcome” video called “Almost Life,” where the monster can get to know their surroundings, but also impresses upon the hideous abomination that the village is off-limits to monsters for fear of an angry mob.
Ah, but there’s money in monsters, as known only too well by circus owner and emcee Fulbert Freakfinder (Seth Usdenov). He goes to, dare-I-say?, comical lengths to cajole Stitch Head to the wonderful life of circus freakdom. “Gosh, it is everything I was hoping for?” “More, kid, more.” This is where the picture shines; the inventiveness and emotion that goes into the castle departure seems more involved than the rest of the picture. Meanwhile, Stitch Head “him”self is torn between castle exclusivity [read: responsibility] and a desire for adventure. In the end, he chooses adventure, putting a three-armed, one-eyed, two-day old behemoth named Creature in charge. That 
won’t last long.
Has Castle Grotteskew served as a prison? The worst part seems not necessarily the confinement, but the child’s clear desire for a parental figure; The Professor is all “IT’S ALIVE!!” and no follow-up. So … what’s the outside like, kid? Is this another case of: “Leave well enough alone?” Or is there enough in the human world to amuse and befriend a Stitch Head?
Stitch Head definitely has some assets. Our titular “Monster” is hardly monstrous and rather sympathy inducing. We also like his monster friends – or at least the little we meet of them. I think it’s cute when a film understands that Stitch Head is skilled at masonry because of all the walls he has to repair from monsters pulling a Kool-Aid man following birth panic. Stitch Head the film is much less Frakenstein and much more a poor man’s Monsters, Inc., especially regarding Stitch Head’s relationship to the townspeople he encounters. Does this make Stitch Head a bad film? No. But I think it runs out of steam long before becoming a great one. Mild thumbs up.
There once was a monster, Stitch Head
Who ran an entire castle of dread
For his irregular peers
All ruled by their fears
Were what happens when panic meets undead
Rated PG, 92 Minutes
Director: Steve Hudson
Writer: Guy Bass, Steve Hudson
Genre: Scary?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Weird children
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Conformists
