In 2011, the film Thor introduced many of us to the charms of Chris Hemsworth. The beefy Australian certainly looked the part, but I found him -at the time- a bit of a dullard. Sure, when he finally gets this acting thing down, he will have a heckuva following. For now, however, he seemed little more than a commercial for feminine sex toys. Hemsworth acting has evolved steadily since then and now I cannot imagine anyone else playing Thor. Ok, great!
And now we have Crime 101 and I feel like Chris Hemsworth is right back to 2011. Hmmm. I hope this doesn’t last.
Speaking of supers, Crime 101 also stars Mark Ruffalo and Halle Berry. Turns out all three of the mains in this film have superhero resumes and redemptive character arcs. Hemsworth plays a thief with morals, but a thief nonetheless. Ruffalo is the cop who knows there’s a moral thief doing jobs tracing the 101 freeway (the likely source of the title) and is getting excoriated for his theories. Berry is the undervalued insurance agent who may or may not be the focal point for the next big heist. All three characters have encountered walls; it is their time to adjust or fade.
Early on, we see the M.O. of Davis (Hemsworth). It involves intense planning, intense grooming, gun use only for show, and then an unnecessarily furious muscle-car escape. Seriously, dude, who is chasing you? Why do you need to drive like this? Oh, and I should point out that traffic in El Lay, on or off the 101, is always bad. Good luck getting the freedom to play “Steve McQueen” in Santa Monica.
Lumpy sad sack detective Lou (Ruffalo) is on the case. He has a good idea of what’s going down and what they should be looking for, but nobody believes him. He should just retire.
Meanwhile, Sharon (Berry), seems to hate her life as a high-class insurance saleswoman. Her firm specializes in policies issued to the 
ultra-wealthy. She is the rep for the $3M diamond heist we just saw Davis pull. She is a black woman in a world dominated by wealthy white men. Is she gonna get the promotion she’s owed? Of course not.
Barry Keoghan also showed up in a smaller role than his talent demands. As I haven’t seen Paul Dano in a while, Barry has become the face I’d most like to punch in Hollywood. This role as the violent usurper to Davis’ crime throne did not dispel me of said desire.
Crime 101 is fairly ambitious. Like I said, it has three redemptive arcs, meaning three full characters we get invested in with various levels of satisfaction. The screenplay is hogged by Davis. I’m not exactly sure if Hemsworth was going for autistic with this role, but his character offers little joy and makes almost no eye contact, even when he’s set on a romantic pathway. I think we’re supposed to get that he’s like Steve McQueen in Bullitt, but he comes off more as a beefy introvert. The film itself takes on clichés of the thief-with-the heart-of-gold, the glass ceiling, the burned-out divorced cop, the big score, and about half-a-dozen others it can think of. It’s slick, but not as slick as it thinks it is, and it’s entertaining, but not as entertaining as it thinks it is. There are good people in this film and it’s a professional ride, so, hey, sure, enjoy. But I doubt this film is ever gonna come off big on any of the bios of the folks involved.
There once was a millionaire thief
Surrounded entirely with grief
For all his skills shone
He lived all alone
No Avengers to give him relief
Rated R, 140 Minutes
Director: Bart Layton
Writer: Bart Layton
Genre: Movies we get excited about until we see them
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People in a mid-life crisis
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Everybody else
