The plot gave him an out, a win-win; he chose a loss. I feel like that’s on you, dude, entirely on you. Since this is based on a real story, one can only guess how the parent felt about this particular, which seems like no exaggeration, but I doubt the intentions of the real guy since his alter-ego never considered the win-win.
You see how that works, movie? I dunno what happened and yet I’m completely justified in questioning your conclusion.
What am I talking about?
Hank Goldstone, a terrible name btw, is a mediocre father, mediocre husband, and mediocre employee. Hank (Owen Wilson) desperately wants to impress his 13-year-old son, Xion (Christian Convery), hence, he does what any desperate father would do – gets his son a ticket to Rolling Loud, the largest outdoor rapfest Miami has to offer. Hank doesn’t know any of the performers, but that’s par for the course; Hank doesn’t know much about anything.
This includes his wife.
Ms. Hank forbids the concert. Junior could get hurt. She’s not wrong. She is way overprotective, but not wrong. Junior could get hurt. Personally, I doubt it; I tend to think concert danger is way exaggerated in general, but I’m not Xion’s mother. And if I’m sleeping with Xion’s mother, I might just have to save my need to be a hero father for something else. Lying to his wife about a weekend at the cabin (yeah, buddy, you’re gonna pay for that one sooner of later), Hank takes the kid to the concert. Woo! Hero dad! And here comes the plot point which I bet actually exists – Rolling Loud has a strict “nobody under 16” policy. Not just “adult supervision.” NOBODY UNDER 16 IS ALLOWED IN.
Hank, this is your win-win. You don’t have to go to the concert. You don’t have to be a hands-on father. Heck, you don’t even have to lie to your wife. [GO TO THE CABIN.] You don’t have to pretend to enjoy hip-hop. And here’s the best part: you still get to be a hero! Xion will appreciate that you tried to do the wrong thing. You get to be a hero without doing anything.
Problem is, Rolling Loud isn’t just a movie, it’s a feature-length commercial for the Rolling Loud hip hop music festival. And, nothing gets promoted if Hank goes away, tail 
between his legs. So, naturally, he has to fake his son’s way into the concert, promptly lose him and go through a series of semi-comic adventures trying to retrieve the kid.
The commercial part isn’t the only downer about this film. One day I’m going to compile a list of ways you can tell that a movie hates its characters. We had two in a row in Rolling Loud. In one scene, goaded by his wife, Hank asks for a raise. In the next, he’s asked to fire an employee of his. These are relatable thankless tasks and how a movie handles them tells us a lot about what it thinks of Hank. The answer? Not much. Goody.
Rolling Loud wasn’t a complete loss. Hank works for a furniture company and the company idiot (the guy hank has to fire) brings up porn in the conference room as an advertising coup. Pretty soon, most of the folks in the room are discussing porn (vis à vis furniture) while one or two are horrified. This is an HR nightmare, but as someone who has been in A LOT of tedious business meetings, I kinda loved this scene. And, small thought here, but “couch sex?” Does J.D. Vance know about this film?
There once was a father named Hank
In need of getting one single offspring “thank”
Desperation overt
Nabbed tickets, concert
Then parented like he was on crank
Rated R, 95 Minutes
Director: Jeremy Garelick
Writer: Jeremy Garelick, Luke Burke
Genre: Stupid parent tricks
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who identify with Owen Wilson’s parenting style
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The horrified
