Every predator kills, but only man is a dick about it. That seems to be the theme here. Gotta say, I don’t even like Jai Courtney when he’s a “good” guy; so when a film asks him to play a serial-killing predator, well, huh, I guess your heart is in the right place. And, let’s face it, as far as I know, most serial killers use, you know, guns or knives or stuff like that. This is the first one I know who uses sharks.
On the premise of viewing sharks up close from the safety of a cage, local marina businessman/captain Bruce Tucker (Courtney) has a habit of capturing young women and making snuff films of them being fed to sharks. I dunno how long you can get away with this. I mean, eventually I’m thinking somebody is going to notice that your sister/girlfriend/wife/aunt/niece never made it home and was last seen on that nasty shark guy’s boat.
In the opening of the film Bruce takes a couple, eases the tension of potential terror with several verses of “Baby Shark” and -to be fair- shows the couple a good time. They’re blown away by their shark experience. Then Bruce stabs the guy in the neck twice, throws him overboard for shark bait, and kidnaps the girl for video purposes later on.
The story develops fully when Bruce kidnaps Zephyr (Hassie Harrison), a young woman who isn’t a doormat and has a guy who might just look for her. Unfortunately, none of the potential victims here seem any smarter than a snorkel, so getting out of this jam alive is going to be an issue. Between filming sessions involving sedation, a VHS tape set-up (old school!), and some sort of crane lowering device, all guests stay at the omni with four-star accommodations and a full-time wait-staff. And by that I mean, Bruce keeps them locked below deck handcuffed to a steel bed.
This is a good horror/thriller set-up: young women locked up with limited escape options awaiting the moment when they’re tied-up, bled and fed to a shark frenzy. How do you escape that and, if you’re at sea (as they frequently are). Where do they go? And why doesn’t anybody in this film have any friends? Especially Mo (Josh Heuston), who only shows up because his one-night stand record is piss-poor 
until he gives Zephyr a jump … or two.
There’s a great deal to dislike about this colorful horror experience, so let me preface any thoughts along those lines that I found Dangerous Animals an effective thriller. Oh, I wish that were enough. On the downside: How much Jai Courtney does one need in their life? Cuz there’s an awful lot of him in this film. And the excessive use of stock footage is a huge turn-off. I shouldn’t have to imagine the sharks are actually present in a film about sharks. Finally, forget “this isn’t how sharks act,” let me go straight to the idea that it is super frustrating when a 99% escape occurs. You know, the “oh, she’s free. She’s FREE! SHE’S FREE!!!! Oh. No, she’s not.” This happens multiple times and it exacerbates all the other bad choices a character makes. Note to thriller producers: I’m not feeling tension when I’m too busy rolling my eyes.
If you can put all that aside, Dangerous Animals is an effective thriller with a decent villain. And whether or not you like any of the potential victims, you can certainly root for people not to get eaten by a shark no matter how annoying or wooden they are. So I might just raise a thumb up here if it hadn’t already been bitten off.
There once was a psychopath, Bruce
Who had at least one or two screws loose
He’d wait until dark
To feed human to shark
And we didn’t even get his excuse
Rated R, 98 Minutes
Director: Sean Byrne
Writer: Nick Lepard
Genre: The funder down under
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: “Edge of your seat” fans
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “Please stop making poor choices!”
