I spent the last hour wondering if we’ve ever had a President that could pass for action hero. Stop with the Trump memes; you’re embarrassing yourselves. He’s every bit as “action”-y in real life as the “I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP” lady. In fact, I think the answer is zero. Some of the younger presidents (Kennedy, Obama) might be closer to action hero than, say Biden or Reagan, but I think the closest we’ve ever come is Teddy Roosevelt, and it’s still weird to picture him in Total Recall.
Ironically, we’ve had presidents who literally were action heroes … I’m thinking Eisenhower, Washington, Jackson, and yet even picturing Ulysses Grant hanging from a plane is still a non-starter. Hence, even if the idea right now of a Hollywood star becoming President is all-too-real, the idea of an action star becoming President is still a bit out there.
On the list of things that can’t ever happen, the Heads of State pairing US President (John Cena) and the British PM (Idris Elba) stranded in Eastern Europe and fighting their way back to Trieste is imaginative and mostly entertaining, if completely silly.
The joke here is that PM Sam Clarke (Elba) and President Will Derringer (Cena) don’t get along, so this film is just going to be another take on the buddy road genre. Derringer is a former movie star while Clarke has a genuine military background -and Derringer, like so many US presidents, is a bit of populist doof- so it’s easy to see why Clarke finds Derringer a populist doof. Their aides suggest they plane together for a NATO summit in Italy to show a camaraderie they don’t share. Naturally, the plane is shot down and crash lands in Belarus, which not only isn’t on the way, it isn’t close, but who am I to quibble with a premise so silly in the first place.
So, please imagine that the US President and the British PM are stranded in former Soviet bloc lands. They are on their own, presumed dead, and -for whatever reason- the cavalry or even an investigation team ain’t comin’. They are on their own. They have to find safety. Oh, and the bad guys seem to know these guys aren’t dead -which isn’t the most preposterous part of this if they’ve been betrayed internally- which means they have to survive only with what they got.
Geez, this is an odd combination of burly fellows, huh? Cena and Elba aren’t exactly The Defiant Ones. And I’ll stop right now any campaign I might once have had for Elba as the next James Bond. That said, this film was kind of fun. Cena and Elba prove just likable enough and just malleable enough to get away with this stupid premise. Are we seeing Cena in his usual role of Schwarzenegger-lite? No. But the film didn’t require that. Heads of State required Cena and Elba to double-team a bad guy with a light fixture. OK, I could see two non-militaristic-but-relatively-young-and-healthy politicians doing that of their lives required it.
Maybe.
Meanwhile, Elba’s 
personal MI6 agent (Priyanka Chopra) has emerged to do all the heavy lifting and show the audience what a genuine agent can accomplish as opposed to two middle-aged suits forced into action.
And, of course, there’s some stupid point to all of this about national cooperation or understanding or, I dunno, some hidden metaphor of homosexuality played off as the “special” relationship between the UK and the US. Not sure any of that works. But we kinda like Cena and Elba and kind alike them together, and the movie never stops trying to get them shot, which is fun, especially if you’ve ever wanted your Heads of State to act like action heroes.
The United States had President Will
A retired movie star now, but still
He and PM on their own
In territories unknown
Displayed a paucity of required survival skill
Rated PG-13,116 Minutes
Director: Ilya Naishuller
Writer: Josh Appelbaum, André Nemec, Harrison Query
Genre: Things that can’t happen
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Presidents/PMs
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Realists
