History tells us that wars between cultures of disparate technology are won by the advanced. James Cameron tells us to bet on the blue guys. Sure, they’re battling lasers and machine guns with sticks and rocks, but, gosh darnit, they got heart. In fact, they may have more than one heart; I’m not good at Na’vi anatomy.
Whatever you’ve come to expect from an Avatar movie, now there’s more of it in Avatar: Fire and Ash. More blue guys, more floating rocks, more army bullshit, more communing with nature, and more tools in character form. Oh, and there is, of course, more fighting. Much, much more fighting. In a franchise that’s more predictable than a Halloween film, the army guys are back to harass the blue guys. This will culminate in an army guy defeat. We know this because we’ve already seen this film two or three times. I’ve lost count, tbh.
Avatar films are marked by stunning cinematography, wooden characters, epic battles with questionable outcomes, and runtimes that will make you long for personal chores. At 195 minutes, Avatar: Fire and Ash is no exception. Once again, we are plagued with the adventures of the “Sully” family, and I don’t wish to “Sully” their good name, but these guys spend every film waiting for the battle to happen. To their credit, it always does.
For the uninitiated, The Na’vi are a race of blue overgrown Native Americans who live on a CGI planet that aggressive Earthlings can’t leave alone. The Sullys are kinda hybrid human/Na’vi crossovers, which means very little other than they are our champions by default. Th Sullys long since stopped having to earn that respect; now everybody just assumes it, mostly because the biggest dick in the film is human/Na’vi hybrid Colonel Miles Quaritch (Stephen Lang). The Colonel still has a raging neural queue for bringing Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) to “justice,” whatever the Hell that means in this universe.
As last film Avatar: The Way of Water focused on the seas, this edition went back to the skies, which was working fine for a bit. We got to indulge Na’vi natural steampunk zeppelin tech against a lovely backdrop of blues and aquas. We even got to meet my favorite character in this film, Varang (Oona Chaplin), the chieftan warrior of the Mangkwan, and clan of Na’vi who aren’t in to all that “Mother Earth” (“Mother Pandora?”) bullshit. Varang proved exciting for about thirty minutes until she, too, became yet another Avatar tool. In the meantime, the film presented us with the dilemma of Spider (Jake Champion), a feral human child who pals around with the Sullys. This works exactly as long as science allows him to breathe Na’vi air.
Oh, don’t worry. When Spider finally runs out of life-giving tech, starchild Kiri (Sigourney Weaver, playing a teen) hooks him up with Na’vi plantlife because -and 
I’m not kidding here “it feels right.” And *poof* before you know it, Spider is suddenly a Na’vi hobbit.
In a film with floating jellyfish, communing with nature, and an extended homage to Native American culture, Avatar: Fire and Ash also gave us a red-carpet moment, an “insubordination” moment, lots of gunplay, and -once again- a climax featuring rocks v. bullets. If only the rock people can get the whales to fight, then they’ll win, see? And, yes, there’s that scene, too.
The question I keep asking myself upon entering an Avatar theater is: Is there anything besides the cinematography that will make me like this picture? Yeah, the cinematography is beautiful. This is a gorgeous picture to look at, no question. Is that enough? And, just as I will tell any prospective spouse to be: if you are selecting on looks above all else, you are going to be sadly disappointed. For example: Toys is among the prettiest films I’ve ever seen. I liked Varang for as long as she was fierce. I was “meh” on literally everything else in the film. And there is a full 195 minutes of film here. If you are a person that lives for the Avatar franchise, go, goggle, and enjoy. Quite frankly, the pictures I love are more than celluloid deep.
There once lived the ferocious Varang
From skyward this chieftainess sprang
But like all Na’vi do
This character blew
Exiting with a whimper instead of a bang
Rated PG-13, 217 Minutes
Director: James Cameron
Writer: James Cameron, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver
Genre: This again?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: “Ooooooooo … pretty!”
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “Good GOD, would it kill you to change the plot once?”
