I’m trying to picture Jimmy Stewart as Spider-Man.
“Uh oh. Well, now. Say. My Spidey-senses are tingling. Yes. They sure are. Whaddayaknow about that? Do you hear, Manhattan? Do you hear! My Spidey-senses! They’re tingling! That means something’s coming! Better react to it!”
The image is a lot funnier in my head. Maybe add something like:
Green Goblin: “I’m gonna destroy this entire city, Spider-Man!”
Spider-Man: “Oh, why don’t you stop annoying people?”
Green Goblin: “Well, I ne- HEY!”
I have this image in my head because at the end of Spider-Man: No Way Home, Peter Parker is given the great gift that George Bailey rejects in It’s a Wonderful Life: The chance to see what life is like without him. It is both a great gift and a terrible gift at the same time. And, unlike, George Bailey, Peter Parker gets to play it out, for better or worse.
There’s no way I’m getting around exposition in this review, which sucks, cuz I really think films shouldn’t have any. Your story is your story; if the background is important, then it should be part of the story, no? But I digress. See, a few years back, Spider-Man was outed, doxxed if you will, and hated by society because even in fictional reality, RW news always gets it wrong on purpose. Spider-Man appealed to his wizard friend, Dr. Strange, to make everyone in the world forget Spider-Man’s true identity, and in his attempt to soften collective societal amnesia, our high school friend almost broke the universe. Oops. Whatchagonnado? The film concluded with Spider-Man accepting collective amnesia from the world, including his bestie (Jacob Batalon) and the kiss of his personal Spider-woman (Zendaya). Did that make Zendaya the new Black Widow? Just asking.
Lacking for friends, family, and a life, Peter Parker (Tom Holland) throws himself into his work, collecting bad guys right and left and endearing himself to the local authorities, which seems unbelievable in the Spider-Verse, and yet, here we are.
The real trouble begins when a powerful mind-controlling and mind-hopping entity, Jane Grey (Sadie Sink), starts making ordinary people do some crazy shit, like driving a battle tank down 5th Avenue and crashing into the police station. The threat here seems stronger than most because Spider-Man lacks a set entity to attack. This mind-hopping foe can assume the form of any person (besides Spider-Man), which means everybody in the entire city is a potential enemy, including both his would-be girlfriend and Professor Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo). If you don’t know who the latter is, I’m not spoiling it.
In addition to an untouchable enemy, Peter Parker also has his own demons to face – his deliberate alienation has taken a toll in terms of longing and friendship. On top of this, the kid has suddenly reached adulthood, and the spider in “Spider-man” is taking over. Ain’t that a bitch? Is Peter Parker going to have an egg sac now? Will he start catching small animals in his webs and suck out their internal organs for nourishment?
Part of the problem with the Marvel Universe is that as Marvel adventures got bigger, their heroes started dying, and the genre lost some really talented actors to death scenes. 
The Marvel verse is currently down Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), and Wolverine (Hugh Jackman). Hence, when a producer doesn’t necessarily think Tom Holland can carry a 2.5 hour film, you get things like Mark Ruffalo and Florence Pugh showing up. Were they necessary for this film? I don’t think so, however, I’m so glad they came, cuz this is a better film with some super cameos.
Spider-Man: Brand New Day is a typical superhero film in that we’ve got evil and action and big conflict. The film has some Marvel-ous cinematography, and some really good fight choreography, especially when Spider-Man is forced to face an entire team of ninjas. Yes, ninjas. What I really love about this film, however, is how much it isn’t a typical superhero film. The villain, although extremely powerful, is hardly a megalomaniac, and the issues of the supers in the film – loneliness, regret, love, friendship, devotion seem far more relatable than the usual array of anger, greed, power, yawn. I think this is why I like the Spider-Man films more than other superhero films in general – there is far more relatable in this half-spider kid, ironically, than in the “normal guy,” who just happens to be a billionaire. I dunno if you can enjoy this film without being in on the Spider-man scene prior to today, but for the rest of us, Spider-Man: Brand New Day is a must see.
For the Spider, it is a whole Brand New Day
And a telepath has gotten in his way
Is she really a villain
Couldn’t she just be chillin’?
This conflict invokes shades of Grey
Rated PG-13, 145 Minutes
Director: Destin Daniel Cretton
Writer: Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers, Stan Lee
Genre: Get me up to speed here …
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Spider-fans
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Authoritarians
