You know what the problem with Jennifer Lopez films are? She’s never presented as a real person. She’s always a walking/talking résumé. In every film she seems to be auditioning for your attention. She gives you the flaws of “being too committed” and “not having time for leisure.” A normal person described this way might, say, not having time for grooming, but that’s never true. JLo looks like a million bucks even when they put her in “disheveled mode” because of course.
This is a big problem when all you ever appear in is romance films. It means JLo never has to change or conform for a partner; she just has to accept the partner. That’s very low stakes. Her films don’t seem to understand this, but her watchers sure as Hell do. And Office Romance is no exception.
Jackie Cruz (JLo) is the unrelenting CEO of her father’s airline company. Jackie has built her entire life around promoting her company which means a set of rigid rules for all employees. Everybody loves a tight-ass CEO, am I right? In walks Daniel Blanchflower (writer/co-star Brett Goldstein). He’s the new in-house lawyer, taking over for an injured Bradley Whitford, a substitution if you will, which I find kinda funny given I only know Goldstein from “Ted Lasso,” a show about football where Goldstein was, himself made a substitute in season one. Jackie and Daniel are hot for each other instantly, but it cannot work because … why?
I mean, you’re the CEO. You make the rules. You’re worried about image? Our President is Donald Trump, as slimy and corrupt as bottom feeders get … and we knew this before the 2024 election. Are you sure image is still a thing among the rich and powerful? *cough* Trump-Epstein Files *cough* Are you sure? Really, really sure?
I’m not sure how true this is to real life, but hormones take over Jackie, as they often do with 
fiftysomething women. Wouldn’t it make more sense if Ms. Cruz simply said, “Screw it. I make the rules. Come get in my pants!” But then we might think less of her. Does she have to be a CEO? It doesn’t matter; this film is neither believable, nor a winner. This is demonstrated by the nearly 30 seconds of bliss the couple has before their indiscretion is caught, their morals are challenged, and they spend the rest of the movie pretending we don’t know how it’s going to end.
I like Jennifer Lopez. I do. Hence, it’s really sad to note the last thing I really liked her in was Angel Eyes. It’s like she’s a walking caricature of herself, which works on -essentially- zero levels. I like Brett Goldstein, too, which makes this JLo romance mildly better than most, but still a far cry from acceptable. Only an end montage with HR director Tony Hale kept this film from being a complete dog. BTW, Office Romance is a bad idea. It shouldn’t be encouraged, and yet, pretending the CEO can’t get away with it is stupid. Just plain stupid.
Once, a CEO named Jackie
Got it on with her counsel lackey
Twas against rules
Yet you take us for fools
When you imagine she has guilt beyond “tacky”
Rated R, 114 Minutes
Director: Ol Parker
Writer: Brett Goldstein, Joe Kelly
Genre: JLo-mance
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: JLo fans
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Everybody else
