For half a film, The Rivals of Amziah King feels like a home movie. I’m not kidding. It’s a home movie starring Matthew McConaughey. You’ll see it and you’ll realize. “Hey there’s us playing music. We sound good, don’t we? There’s Uncle Jack, and Grandpa Joe, my cousin Linda … and Matthew McConaughey. Ummmm … look, I don’t want to be a pest or anything, but what’s Matthew McConaughey doing in our home movie?”
Titular local magnate Amziah King (McConaughey) is local business, beekeeper, and good ol’ boy. He’s there to do some business, make some honey, and share lots o’ smiles. He’s also there to impart wisdom on his former foster daughter, Kateri (Angelina LookingGlass, the first name I’ve ever seen with consecutive Gs, but only one is capitalized). He’s not really there to impart wisdom; he’s there to be Matthew McConaughey. My guess is that he’s a friend of writer/director Andrew Patterson, and agreed to be in Patterson’s film to boost recognition. Problem is the film, again I’m guessing here, was made before McConaughey signed on, so they shot a bunch of useless Matt stuff and pieced it all together in post.
This film doesn’t become a real film until Amziah gets aced and Kateri, suddenly acquiring a world of adult 
responsibility, decides to investigate his death. I am not kidding when I say that aside from a literal scalping by an industrial honey mixer (?!), nothing worth noting happens in the first half of the film. But then McConaughey dies and Kurt Russell shows up and now we got ourselves a movie!
Is there any way you can watch the second half of the film without watching the first? Do that.
The Rivals of Amziah King is a good reminder than just because an established quality actor can carry a film doesn’t necessarily mean he can carry every film. I don’t dislike Matthew McConaughey. Sure, I’ve made fun of him in the past. Who hasn’t? Yet I will readily acknowledge he’s been the major reason behind several films I’ve enjoyed. That being said, this film isn’t good until McConaughey leaves. Please take whatever you need to take from that.
There once was an off-beat beekeeper
As a businessman, an underrated sleeper
His rivals, all jealous
And a tad overzealous
Made Amziah get in a bit deeper
Rated R, 130 Minutes
Director: Andrew Patterson
Writer: Andrew Patterson
Genre: Beekeeping & murder
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Patient people
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: What is the point of the first half of the film?!
